Man Causes Mass Panic At LAX By Putting A Cat Through The X-Ray Machine

Gawker- Well, oh, shit: a live animal was just put through an x-ray scanner at LAX.
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HOLY SHIT. A dude just put his cat inside the X-Ray machine at LAX. The TSA is flipping the fuck out.

— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) July 1, 2015

I have seen people pulled out of the TSA line for knives. Guns. I have never seen the rage of the TSA when dude just put his cat in the XRay

— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) July 1, 2015

The TSA folks at Terminal 3 at LAX are animal lovers. They lost their shit when that dude put his cat through the scanner. RAGE.

— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) July 1, 2015

You guys I don't think the owner of #XrayCat is gonna be allowed to get on his flight. Also he wore a fedora. #LAX

— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) July 1, 2015

Cat Update: the TSA was deciding whether to arrest the dude, call a vet, or just kick his ass for putting his cat through the X-Ray.

— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) July 1, 2015

Wait, wait, wait...this is an actual debate? I would like to put my vote in for arresting him. Can I vote more than once? Does LAX have a live poll up that I can refresh for the next few hours? No, it's probably not the worst thing in the world for a cat to go through an X-ray machine during a TSA examination. It's probably not good for the cat's health, and it certainly shows a lack of intelligence on the owner's part, but that's not even my main issue here. If you are a cat owner pretty much the last place you want to bring that bipolar little bastard with you is on vacation. Cats suck so goddamn much that I wouldn't be surprised if people have taken vacations strictly to get away from their schizophrenic house pets. Cats would rather stay home and ruin your apartment anyway. They got their own shitter. A water dish. A food bowl. How the hell does a cat benefit from leaving the house, and how does the owner benefit from bringing it with him?

Everyone may have come out of this no worse for the wear, but the lunatic that is traveling with a cat is destined for a prison cell. It may not be now, but it might as well be. Because the next time he has a run in with law enforcement it's not going to be because he put a cat on a conveyor belt. It'll because he's putting human remains in his food dish. The man that needs his cat present to have companionship is a man that can't interact with human beings. Come on, as if bringing a cat with you everywhere you go isn't enough of a sign of mental instability? On top of that this guy has the audacity to wear a fedora in 2015? Putting his cat through the scanner was a plea for help. It was like Robert Durst stealing a sandwich when he had thousands of dollars in his car. He was begging to get locked up because he can't live with himself or his obsession with his feline. Of course everyone was flipping out. We all know the dangers of a knife or a gun, but no one knows the dangers possessed by a fedora wearing cat lover that doesn't understand how a routine screening works.