Mark Ingram Did The 'Hotline Bling' Dance To Celebrate His Touchdown Because Drake Runs The World
Fucking Drake man. Say what you want about the guy, but he's the master of building his brand. He may be corny sometimes. Scratch that. He is corny sometimes, but he produces bangers and he knows how to promote himself. Take this video for example. Drake is dressed like a white dude and dancing like the whitest of dudes, and still has black athletes from Alabama imitating his moves. Who else could get black people to willingly choose to dance like they are dorky caucasians with two left feet? It's like he transcends race. Maybe that's because no one actually knows what race a Canadian Jew is, but he transcends it regardless. Fucking 'Wheelchair Jimmy' had made his way on to the football field. A goddamn Jew named Aubrey that wears turtleneck sweaters has infiltrated end zone dances. It's like he has succeeded in making the act of being uncool, cool. If he can do that then what can't he do? There's been a lot of talk about celebrities running for president, and with the amount of recent racial tension, the most obvious candidate has been dancing like a drunk Irishmen under our nose the entire time.
Hey, maybe if Sean Payton wasn't so hardheaded then Mark Ingram could have gotten into the end zone enough to reenact the whole fucking video. I mean, he was averaging 10 yards a rush and the Colts seemingly had no answers for him. Obviously that's when you want to start incessantly throwing the ball. Can't think of a better time to give the backup running back more reps than directly after the starter has run roughshod all over your opponent. Maybe Sean Payton just isn't a big Drake fan. Shhh, don't tell anyone. In 2015 that's basically grounds for termination, and the Saints are finally starting to hit their stride.
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