Math Was Definitely Not DeMar DeRozan's Favorite Subject

Holy crap this is so great. pic.twitter.com/5m89yXaNhz

— Shoppers Thugmart (@IamHarshDave) January 19, 2016

"Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing I can always count to four, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be the thorn in your side forever morrre
Cause that's what friends are forrrr!!!"

Seriously though, this should excite Raptors fans. You don't call out your teammate for his inability to do elementary arithmetic unless you are really, REALLY close with him. DeMar DeRozan might not be the smartest person in the locker room - or a kindergarten classroom - but he gets along well with Kyle Lowry, and that bodes well for their chances going forward. Everyone has this friend, and in my opinion everyone needs this friend. That could just be my bias speaking because I probably am this friend most of the time, but that's neither here nor there. If your friends don't make you look stupid in public when you gift them golden opportunities to do so then do you really have friends at all?

The best part about this is that Kyle Lowry could sit down with DeMar DeRozan with a calculator and a team schedule and he still wouldn't be able to make him understand. I imagine him doing that thing you do when you try to talk a second grader in the right direction when helping them with their times tables. You know where the person doing the teaching starts to say the first syllable of the correct answer in hopes that the student will be able to finish the word? I can see DeMar Derozan just blurting out "ohhhh, I get it" so he can stop feeling stupid, and then completely fucking it up when Kyle Lowry asks him to explain it back to him. Oh well, that's why he's getting paid to make baskets and not calculate his own shooting percentage. DeMar DeRozan: Basketball player, but most definitely not a scholar. If I were him I would blame that partial USC education as well. Sure, he probably didn't make any use of it whatsoever, but it's not like he could sully the reputation of their athletic department anymore than Pete Carroll already did.