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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Matt Bonner Blames His iPhone6 For His Shooting Woes: No, Really

7/7/2015

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FOX Sports- According to free-agent forward Matt Bonner, he developed an elbow injury with the Spurs last season thanks to using a bigger iPhone.

Bonner, who was a 41.4 percent three-point shooter going into last season, shot just 36.5 percent from beyond the arc. He blames Apple for going bigger with the iPhone 6.

"You're about to get an exclusive here. I hate to make excuses, I was raised to never make excuses, but I went through a two-and-a-half month stretch where I had really bad tennis elbow, and during that stretch it made it so painful for me to shoot I'd almost be cringing before I even caught the ball like, 'Oh, this is going to kill.'

Everybody is going to find this hilarious, but here's my theory on how I got it. When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one, and I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that's how I ended up developing it."






Talk about the very definition of first world problems. There are people over in Kenya beating Tigers in a foot race with no shoes on just to stay alive, and Matt Bonner is over here getting tennis elbow because his super convenient smart phone is half an inch bigger. Silly me, I was sitting here thinking the cause of Bonner's dip in statistics was his genetics and body type finally catching up to him, but nope. Just Steve Jobs putting his favorite apps an entire finger length away. It actually kind of makes sense that he blames technology for his shooting woes. That's something all of our fathers would do, and Matt Bonner pretty much looks like the ginger version of the prototypical 'Dad'. "I didn't make the wrong turn, it's that this stupid GPS doesn't know what it's talking about" is pretty damn similar to "My body isn't breaking down, it's that this stupid phone is too big". 

Hey, I agree with Bonner about the iPhone6. It's way too big. It's bulky. It doesn't fit well in your pockets. Well, I guess that's my only real complaint. Pretty much the last criticism I would ever think of is "it makes me strain my elbow", but to each their own I guess. Don't be so harsh on him guys. Matt Bonner doesn't usually make excuses...except when he blames his injury on texting from a feather weight phone. Thank God we aren't still using Nokia's or Bonner's arm may have snapped clean off. Hell, if an iPhone6 can take down a professional athlete it's a goddamn miracle Zach Morris wasn't constantly in a sling after carrying that brick with buttons around Bayside. Might have wanted to keep this one to yourself Matt. Tennis elbow from Tindering; the new age Carpal Tunnel. Even Maria Sharapova is like "God, what a pussy". You weren't exactly viewed as the toughest guy in the league before, I can't imagine a 'Candy Crush' injury will do too much to erase that 'soft' label.

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