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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Max Pacioretty Pranks Bruins Fans Into Saying How Great He Is

3/24/2015

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Come on Bruins fans, be better. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. While a certain amount of that is outdated rhetoric, you should at least know what your enemies look like. That way they don't walk right up to your face in the middle of the day and metaphorically smack you upside the head in the form of a viral video. I mean, Boston fans are supposed to be some of the most die hard fans in sports, correct? And they couldn't recognize some weaselly looking dude that they watched play in seven straight games last May?

Say they weren't expecting to run into an NHL player on the streets of Boston in a McDonald's jacket. That's fair, they get a pass for that. However, it's got to click once the burger is named the 'Max 67'. The guy has one of the most distinct faces, names, and numbers in the sport of hockey. If that trifecta wasn't enough of a kick in the dick to get your attention you may want to retire your Bruins jersey. If Henrik Lundqvist offered me a steak dinner called the 'Hank 30' I would spit on it like the guy in 'Waiting' and spike it on his designer shoe. If Dan Girardi handed me a burger called the 'Dan 5' I would hand it back to him and assume he just turned it over by accident. If Marc Staal handed me a hot dog I would smash it right into his good eye. Got to know when you are getting played by someone you despise.

Here's the thing. We live in the viral age. I don't think McDonald's needs to be handing out free burgers outside their restaurant. They have a pretty solid business plan that has been working for decades. So unless you are getting free food from a new, relatively unknown restaurant it's best to assume you are going to end up on the internet looking like an idiot. General rules of thumb; If someone says "say these exact words" it's probably a safe bet that you don't know what you are saying or who it references. Plus, just avoid cameras on the street at all costs. 99% of the time the result is not going to be in your favor.
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