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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Michael Bennett Doesn't Like Turkey Because Of "What Happened To The Indians"

10/21/2015

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Asked why he didn't eat turkey at Levi's field last year, Michael Bennett said he doesn't like turkey b/c of "what happened to the Indians."

— Matt Barrows (@mattbarrows) October 20, 2015

Of course, one minute earlier Bennett said "turkey's good (when) you put some hot sauce on it," so it's hard to tell what to believe.

— Matt Barrows (@mattbarrows) October 20, 2015
If there is anything we have learned from the last year it's that Michael Bennett is a volume shooter. He's the Jamal Crawford of dry humor and loose connections. Just tossing up anything he can get his hands on and hoping that it lands relatively close to funny. That's all well and good. I thought it was pretty humorous when he said that he didn't like Matthew Stafford because he was from Dallas and Dallas shot JFK. A little extravagant just to get a laugh, but still worthy of snicker. However, denouncing the most American meal of all time is where I draw the line.

First of Michael, and I know you're obviously kidding, but if you want to stand up for the "Indians" you might want to try going with the politically correct term "Native Americans". You know, just so you don't offend every single party at the first Thanksgiving table. Second of all, you can't not like turkey. It's just as simple as that. That's not even to say that turkey is the best protein on the planet, but hating it is simply unacceptable. Turkey is the football of manufactured meat. Even when it's not good, it's not bad. You can know a Jacksonville/Houston game is going to stink and you're still going to watch it 95% of the time, just like you'll lather your your potentially dry, bland turkey in gravy and be satisfied every single time.

Turkey is so American that we literally make other American meals, that aren't turkey, out of turkey. Turkey burgers, turkey dogs, turkey sausage, even turkey bacon. Turkey is so American that even the vegans like to pretend they eat it when they have tofurkey. If Michael Bennett wants to work hard for laughs then that's his prerogative, but don't start going rogue and getting unAmerican on us. Disliking turkey because of what we did to the Indians is one step below not liking Thanksgiving, and saying you don't like Thanksgiving is one step below communism. Make your jokes Michael, but don't make them at the expense of our questionable American traditions. 
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