UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT
Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Michael Phelps Girlfriend Was Apparently Born a Dude

11/20/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2841581/Michael-Phelps-girlfriend-admits-born-male-describes-amazing-sex-Olympic-swimmer.html

DailyMail- Michael Phelps' self-proclaimed girlfriend Taylor Lianne Chandler has just made a shocking admission.In a post on her Facebook, Chandler is revealing she was actually born a boy, and named David Roy Fitch at birth.

As a teenager however Chandler went on testosterone blockers and had her name changed and then, in her early twenties, underwent corrective surgery to get rid of her male genitalia.

​


Ahhh, the ultimate equalizer. I'm just an average guy, sitting on my couch, swigging a beer, watching my moderately sized flat screen TV, recounting my past sexual conquests of mostly average women. Some 6's, a few 7's, couple crazy 8's, maybe a really really drunk 9. In contrast, Michael Phelps is a record setting Olympian who should be able to pull a ton of grade A tail despite his obvious aesthetic limitations. Yet, I would win in a pissing contest with Phelps. He could throw all his accolades in my face, but when I tell him his dude looks like a lady I would be the one dropping the proverbial mic and walking out to a chorus of OOOOHHHH's. It's a little sad, but knowing his girlfriend had a penis at some point makes me feel a little bit better about myself. Just a daily reminder that nobody's life is perfect. Floyd Mayweather needs to use the illustrations when he goes to the bathroom, and Michael Phelps girlfriend had a penis. We all have our shortcomings.
Picture
This is a pretty blatant applicational hazard. Swiping through women on Tinder is like going to the clearance pit at Bob's Furniture. You might find yourself a bargain, but at the end of the day there is a reason it's on sale. Usually, it's just a couple extra pounds hidden by a well angled camera shot. However, just like you might end up with a couch that has a wobbly leg, you might end up with a broad that was born with a third leg. This is the reason you don't date girls from Tinder. Go out, enjoy yourself, have a wild night or two, but don't date them. If Phelps cut this off after date number one, he would have never found out about the 'lady' formerly known as David Roy Fitch. Ignorance is bliss. I don't discourage anyone from a little Tinder usage, but why is he using it to court women? If I was Michael Phelps I would show up to the bar in a Speedo with 18 pounds of gold around my neck and watch all the panties moisten before my very eyes.

So wait, Phelps just got out of rehab and THEN she dropped this bomb on him. Better keep that room vacant. I don't know if rehab has records, but I am pretty sure Phelps just won another gold for quickest relapse. He is currently on a bender that would make Charlie Sheen proud. You don't just find out your girlfriend used to be a lady-man and not abuse all the drugs and alcohol you can get your hands on. He is probably tonsil deep on a 6 foot bong rip right now. Probably polished off a handle of whiskey and drove blindfolded across a bridge. No matter how much weed and booze he has, someone needs to get him more ASAP.
Picture
"I am probably going to lose him because he is a brand that his team wants to protect and things since he went to rehab came to my attention that didn't put him or our relationship in the best light."  -Taylor David Lianne Roy Chandler Fitch


Yup, that's it. You are going to lose him because his public relations team wants to save his 'brand'.  Surely it can't have anything to do with your criminal record and history of extortion, never mind his mental image of you with a cock. There are things that didn't put him in the best light? Like the fact that he was dating a former dude? At least she's fully acclimated to her new gender. Such a chick move to try to blame the guy in this situation.

P.S. It's a nice sob story, but rape isn't rape in prison. It's an unfortunate risk that goes along with committing a felony. Of course she was imprisoned with men. If you have a cock when you commit the crime, you do your time as a cocksman.

P.P.S. Michael Phelps sex life is destroyed forever, right? You sleep with one transgender and you have to start conducting background checks and shit. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…I'm gay.

Live look at Michael Phelps….
Picture
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Categories

    All
    Dumbest-of-the-stupid
    Footy Fisticuffs Etc
    Hardball
    Hoops
    Jersey's Team
    Pigskin
    Pop Cultured
    Puck
    Scarlet-knights
    Who Dat Nation

    Archives

    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy