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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Michael Vick Is Hosting His Retirement Party In Houston, And It Feels About 5-6 Years Too Late

1/30/2017

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TMZ- It's officially over for Mike Vick ... and the NFL star is going out with a massive party. 

The 36-year-old quarterback is set to host his "official retirement party" at Grooves of Houston nightclub during Super Bowl weekend, a rep for Headliner Market Group tells TMZ Sports.

Vick had a pretty stellar NFL career since entering the league in 2001 when the ATL Falcons took him with the #1 overall pick. He also played for the Eagles, Jets and Steelers. 

Just last week, Vick did a radio interview and said he could still play in the NFL and considered himself better than any backup QB in the league. 



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Well, it looks like Michael Vick is finally putting himself out to pasture. The running quarterback by which all running quarterbacks that came after him foolishly tried to model themselves is finally putting down his cleats without a fight. Man, if only he had that much respect for the dogs that savagely battled to their death in his backyard.

Sorry, I didn't even want to go down the canine killing road, but I felt like it deserved at least one sarcastic mention in an article about a once superhuman talent that had potentially the oddest career trajectory in NFL history.

Seriously, doesn't it seem like Michael Vick has been out of the NFL for a decade? I distinctly remember watching him make a start (that had a horrific end) for the Steelers last year, yet it somehow feels like I was in high school since the last time we were privy to the previously unmatched athleticism of the real Michael Vick. You could easily convince me that the dude that's just been popping around the league for the last few seasons casually playing a quarter here and a half there before re-injuring himself by refusing to slide in the face of a oncoming defender is just a stunt double. Maybe I considered him retired when he couldn't even win the starting job over Geno Smith, but something about Michael Vick throwing a retirement party in 2017 seems extremely belated to me. I guess one night of celebratory, pre-Super Bowl debauchery is easier to stomach than the excessive retirement tours that the MLB has come to know and love, but that doesn't mean that this shindig feels like it would have been more timely if it were held before his "co-host" followed serve on a prison sentence. Even the guy with a goddamn ice cream cone tatted on his face had to be like "are you sure about this?" when he got a call from Michael Vick to throw a highfalutin funeral for a career that lived longer than anyone's memory serves. 

P.S. 2002. Yes, two-thousand-and-TWO. Which was apparently lonnnnng before the invention of high definition television...
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