Microsoft Has A New App That Makes You Perform A Task To Shut Off Your Alarm

SOLD! Okay well, unfortunately not sold on ever purchasing a Microsoft product, but this "dance for me, monkey" app they are pushing? Definitely sold on that. If I have learned anything about myself it's that I could have the best of intentions when it comes to waking up, but they fly out the fucking window when it comes time to do so. It doesn't matter what alarm philosophy I take. I have made them louder. I have made them more obnoxious. I have made them more frequent. Has that managed to train me to wake up as early as I would like to? Fuck no. It has trained me to be an incredibly skilled blind person. I could shut off my alarm in my sleep and not even realize that I did it. That's why I need this app that basically treats you like your parents did in grade school. Just constantly annoying you until you perform a task and show an actual sign of life. It probably still won't work, but it's a step in the right direction. I wonder if it has a "chug a coffee" option that has to measure a certain amount of caffeine in my blood stream before it stops incessantly blaring. What I really need is a robot that pulls the covers off me, waits 30 seconds, and then slaps the shit out of me, but I think we are a couple years away from one of those being even relatively affordable.