All this time and no one told me the key to making my golf game just a little less handicapped was to start playing in the dead of winter? Someone owes me an explanation, because if I knew that February tee times were the key to bringing my score back down to something that could be kicked mildly close to par then I would have started showing up to the clubhouse in my Christmas long johns years ago. Sand traps don't naturally freeze over, right? Oh well, guess I'll have to start showing up a day early and hosing them down too. Let's throw some snow tires on the golf carts and get crazy, because fortune apparently favors the cold and my iron game needs all the damn bounces it can get.