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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Montreal's Twitter Reaction To The Lightning's Last Second Game Winning Goal Last NIght Is Pretty Spot on

5/7/2015

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'tabarnak' is now trending in #Montreal http://t.co/Y0Po4m4OfI

— Trendsmap Montreal (@TrendsMontreal) May 7, 2015
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Yup, that sounds about right. Well, not really. 'Tabarnak'? Come on Canada, stop being so damn Canadian. Be better than that. That doesn't even have the feel of a swear word. Yell 'tabarnak' out loud with some gumption in your voice. Nope, you can't do it either. Can't even imagine how pitiful it sounds when a French-Canadian person says it. Don't sit here and tell me that sorry excuse for an obscenity is the equivalent of the English 'fuck'. Might be closer to the English 'oh fudge'. That sounds about right. Far too many syllables to be a mainstream curse word. You need a strong vowel in there like a 'u' or an 'i' to put some emphasis on. Tabarnak just sounds like shitty board game you play with your friends once or twice before you inevitably lose the pieces to it and sell it at a yard sell for 35 cents. Why the FUCK are a bunch of Canadians yelling about portable, divine Jew houses? See how much better that works Canada? Our neighbor to the north just failing miserably at being offensive. 

Regardless, that's the exact reaction a city should have to the ending of that game. Especially a city that loves it's hockey as much as Montreal. That wasn't just the end of a game, that's the end of a series, the end of a promising season. There are certain moments that no matter how much you believe in the diligence of your team you know it's over. Somethings are impossible to come back from. A game winning goal with 1 second left to put you down 3-0 is one of those things. That was one of those "turn the tv off, go for a walk, and stay away from any of your possessions that have value" losses. A time where a full beer becomes not a delicious cocktail, but a weapon of mass destruction. That's one of those moments as sports fan where you break something, a couple hours later you regret it, but you know if the same circumstances popped up again you would react the exact same way. There's only one word that encompasses the emotions of all Canadians fans in that moment, and it's a moment we all have an undoubtedly experienced as sports fans. That word happens to be FUCK, or it's pussified equivalent. For all the people that were sitting at their keyboards getting 'tabarnak' to start trending, there had be tens of thousands that were turning the streets into the white version of Baltimore. 
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