My First Reaction To Watching This Video Of A Negligent Security Guard At A Soccer Match was Undoubtedly The Wrong One

I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. I hate when light gets shed on the rear end of my ass backwards priorities. That, however, doesn't mean I don't think it makes me a better man to admit when I am wrong, and my initial reaction to this video was as wrong as I have ever been.

When I watched this "security guard" give thee ole' matador defense to a bunch of soccer hooligans  my first thought was "how come I'm never lucky enough to run into this guy?". Obviously, I should want to avoid the last line of protection that's most likely to let someone enter a public domain with a goddamn bazooka strapped inside their pant leg, but the irrationally impatient fan in me loves how quickly his line is moving. I'm undoubtedly more susceptible to getting stabbed inside the venue he's working, but I'll be damned if I am not able to order one more beer at the bar and still make inside for the start of the game he's working. If you give me some time to think about it then I have no problem admitting how dangerous this is, but in the moment I probably would have given this guy a tip if he casually waved his hands in my general direction and expedited me through to the ticket taker. This dude definitely needs to be fired, but ask me when I'm 25th in line 30 seconds before the scheduled puck drop and I might be willing to write him a letter of recommendation. Safety's first, but my personal convenience is such a close second that sometimes it's temporarily surpasses it.