NHL Player Safety, Ladies And Gentleman!

The NHL's suspension and explanation of Gustav Nyquist's disturbing spear is so damn confusing: https://t.co/UWRTIAgGre pic.twitter.com/xLgUcnxE8p

— Kyle Cantlon (@KyleCants) February 16, 2017

Six game suspension for Nyquist.

— Bob McKenzie (@TSNBobMcKenzie) February 15, 2017

Antoine Vermette had enough of the Ref's sh!t and just slashed him after faceoff... #Savage pic.twitter.com/6DEjkFTecy

— Bar South N Celly™ (@BarSouthNCelly) February 15, 2017

NHL announces 10-game suspension for Vermette for abuse of official. Now we await the appeal from Vermette.

— Pierre LeBrun (@Real_ESPNLeBrun) February 16, 2017

I believe this is what those that have been tricked into going to McDonald's to pick up some slop after watching them manufacture a picturesque burger on their commercial call "false advertising". I'm not say that the NHL's disciplinary committee isn't concerned with protecting their athletes, but they are little bit messier in their execution than the title "Player Safety" would suggest. Plus, I think the officials should probably be recognized in the name if insuring the health of their buttocks is going to be the priority when it comes to handing down suspensions.

I don't want this to sound like I am excusing what Antoine Vermette did, because I have no problem with the NHL upholding the mandatory 10 game suspension for treating referees like dogs that have pissed on the floor when they drop the puck at an importune time. That's a smart precedent to set or officials would have to start showing up to games wrapped in insulation like the malnourished kid in 'Little Giants'. 

I just think that deterring a player from trying to hook an opponent through the face like a large mouthed bass is, at the very least, equally as important. All these on-ice transgressions are judged on a case-by-case basis so it is relatively stupid to contrast two instances that couldn't possibly be more different. That relativity gets tossed directly out the fucking window when the NHL concludes that a "do better" slap on the bum is more costly than stopping and thinking about it before attempting to use your stick to try to put a man's head on a kebab.

To say that Gustav Nyqvist only deserved a 6 game suspension would be to downplay the fact that he would still be in a cell if he did something like while anywhere else but a hockey rink. Jared Spurgeon's seemingly unbreakable mug shouldn't have a parole-like effect on the punishment being dished out to guy who temporarily stopped playing a sport to audition for a starring role in a potential remake of '300'. This isn't fucking Sparta, so I don't think it's too much to ask to avoid unjust comparisons of injustice by levying a large enough penalty to show the casual observer that a reactionary love tap isn't considered more egregious than attempted facial reconstruction.