I know what you are thinking. "You're crazy. Jorts have been out for so long. No one wears jorts anymore. It's like wearing a scarlet letter!". Well newsflash everyone, fashion is cyclical. Everything comes back around. Turns out this revolution was shorter than expected. I'm not saying that jorts are aesthetically pleasing. Far from it. However, if jorts are associated with Floyd Mayweather than jorts are associated with wealth. That's what us affluent folks like to call a correlation. Look it up.
Dolla, dolla bills y'all! If there is one thing women love more than a man with a fashion sense it's a man with money. That's right. You keep wearing your $80 pastel shorts like a poor person while I run to my closet and turn every pair of Levi's into a confirmation of my non-existent prosperity. Floyd Mayweather may be a wife beating asshole that's dressed like a schmuck, but he's a rich wife beating asshole that's dressed like a schmuck. I know the domestic abuse hasn't done his net worth any favors so it's got to be his wardrobe. Why else would someone be seen out in public with cut off jeans on if it wasn't a telltale assurance of money, power and respect? You fools can keep dropping thousands of dollars on suits. I'm just going to go chop the bottoms off all my pants to let my balls breath. After all, the first step to being rich is looking rich. 1%, here I come!
I didn't even know it until this very second, but I am Money Team bitches!