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Nothing About This Lady That Drank So Much Red Bull That She Went Blind Makes Sense

8/2/2015

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Metro- A mother is going blind due to her Red Bull habit, which saw her drink 28 cans of the stuff every day.

Lena Lupari, 26, took in 3,000 calories from the drink every day, and has now developed a condition which has led to her brain swelling.

The jobless mother-of-three, from County Antrim, Northern Ireland, says she was completely unaware of the damage she was doing to her body until she collapsed in June.

Doctors say Ms Lupari, who weighs 26 stone, has developed Idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH) due to her being overweight.

Ms Lupari’s  addiction, which saw spend £450 a month on the sugary drink, was making her incredibly overweight.

Idiopathic intracranial hypertension can lead to swollen optic nerves, which was impacting Ms Lupari’s sight.

‘I’d been suffering from migraines and headaches for about five years but I just ignored them and took painkillers,’ Ms Lupari told MailOnline.

‘Then my vision went and I couldn’t even lift my head off the bed and I ended up in hospital for six days.’


Now I won't lie to you. I am the occasional Red Bull consumer. Usually it's about once a week when I get tired of drinking dirt water, in the form of coffee, to kick start my day. There are a couple things that remain consistent when I buy that Red Bull. For starters, the half assed effect from a beverage that is mostly a placebo but kind of tastes good so it's uselessness is easily overlooked. Hell, if Red Bull really gives you wings it must be the same wings that city pigeons have, because it certainly doesn't help your day take flight like a nice cup of coffee does . Most importantly, the thing that remains consistent whenever I buy a Red Bull is the feeling of regret that comes over me when I take it to the counter and it costs like $3. So sure, it's pretty improbable that a woman could drink liters upon liters of Red Bull every single day, but it's more improbable that the Red Bull made her go blind before it made her go broke. 

We are talking about some disgustingly fat broad with pink hair who hasn't had a job in three years. A woman that needed the energy from 28 Red Bulls a day to roll her fat ass out of bed and be a house wife. Hell, she probably could have hired a fantastic nanny for the price she was willing to pay per day for an overrated energy drink. Who would have thought that it would take this grotesque human being developing a serious handicap to make her less of a financial burden on her family? You don't need $100 worth of Red Bull a day if every time you get out of bed you are just going to walk into a bunch of shit for a minute or two before you get tired and need another Red Bull. Might as well just lay in bed and wait until death does you the favor of showing up early. Sucks that three children will probably lose their mother to her lack of will power towards a drink filled with a bunch of unpronounceable ingredients. However, at least she won't be around to blow their college funds on some overpriced beverage with effects that she had clearly grown immune to. There's always a silver lining, even if Lena Lupari can no longer see it.

P.S. I want to hate on this woman for ignoring all the tell tale signs that something was wrong before developing a serious condition, but that would be disingenuous considering that's pretty much just called being a man.

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