Now That's A Headline That Will Raise Some...Eyebrows

Watch out world, the Florida Times-Union is cumin' in hot! I'm not saying I wasn't excited when the Saints let the Chargers beat themselves, but I honestly don't think I have ever seen a fanbase this aroused by  getting their first victory over subpar competition. I guess Jaguars fans think they can beat off the ghost of games' past, because they are really milking this one for all it's worth. I know it's not easy to be successful in the NFL, but wins shouldn't be so hard to attain that the aftermath of them requires so much self love that you're still noticeably excited days later. That release is supposed to be quick. It's not supposed to have you stroking your....team's ego all the way through the bye week. Not trying to be kill the mood here, but it might be time to pipe down Jags fans. After all, letting those feelings go straight to your head always makes them end all-too-abruptly. 

Okay, enough with the incredibly forced puns, but seriously...there is only one word you can't put after Myles Jack's name. ONE. You can do anything with Jack but 'off'. Aren't there editors whose entire job to passively skim through boring editorials and then tag them with a pseudo-interesting headline? Job well done I guess, but I would imagine this is worth a call into the bosses' office. Pretty sure the goal is to convince people to read boring drivel without alluding to masturbation. The rules might very well be different in Florida, but in the Northeast the half dead people that still read newspapers like do to so without being reminded that they can barely get their dicks up - never mind use them for anything crazy like rubbing one out to a promising young linebacker laying the wood.