O.J. Simpson Really Missed The Boat By Not Committing Suicide In Kim Kardashian's Childhood Room

DailyMail- Kardashian Snr, the already ex-husband of Kris Jenner, reportedly found Simpson sitting in 'Kimmy's' room, recording 'a suicide tape', just hours before he staged the car chase that was watched by millions of people on live TV.  

Lawrence Schiller, the author of American Tragedy: The Uncensored Story of the O.J. Simpson Defense, told ABC News 20/20 that Kardashian warned Simpson not to do it. 

In a pre-recorded interview the father-of-four, who worked as Simpson's legal adviser, described what happened in the bedroom.

'O.J. said, "I'm going to kill myself in this room," and I said, "You can't. This is my daughter's bedroom. My little girl Kim sleeps here. I can't have my little girl in this bedroom, and every time I come in here, I'm going to see your body lying in this. You can't do that.'"



​Okay fine, most people would rather live longer than worry about how people are going to remember them, but most people aren't professional athletes that have killed their wives. Everyone knows that legacies matter to athletes, and taking his own life in Kim Kardashian's childhood bedroom would have done wonders for O.J. Simpson's legacy. I am not saying it would have been easy to predict, but a little bit of foresight would have gone a long way. Think about it. If we avoided this.... 

...and this...

...then maybe O.J. Simpson is just another ex-athlete that got away with committing a heinous crime. Not the most famous ex-athlete to get away with committing the most famous heinous crime. The fact of the matter is that everyone thinks of O.J. Simpson as a murderer first because of all the publicity he got from his trial. However, imagine if he killed himself before that trial even happened. Imagine there was no nationally broadcast car chase. Imagine if there was no "glove don't fit, must acquit". If we never saw O.J on the stand we would be far more likely to still remember that he was actually an accomplished professional athlete.

Don't discount that this suicide could have happened in Kim Kardashian's room. Even kids that weren't socially aware when the O.J. trial went down know him as a criminal, but can you imagine if he had bled out on Kim Kardashian's Barbie sheets?! Every upcoming generation would only know him as the guy that committed suicide on Kim's bed. Hell, if we were really lucky this could have changed the whole course of history. You think 20-something Kim Kardashian is dating/fucking every high profile athlete/musician if 14 year old Kim Kardashian found out that one took his life on her bedspread? No fucking way. That would have straightened her out right quick. She would be married to some underwhelming attorney with two regularly named children living up in some gated community in Beverly Hills, not to some delusional rapper that thinks he's Jesus reincarnated picking kid's names from a compass. I know O.J. didn't know it at the time, and this may sound ass backwards, but his decision not to kill himself was selfish. It indirectly killed the brain cells of a young crop of girls that are obsessed with watching women that are famous for nothing. His inability to cowardly end his life basically planted the seed that ended up blossoming into a whole garden of stupid. Not only could he have saved his legacy, but he could have saved the world from a whole shitload of unrealistic reality television.

P.S. And now you know how O.J. won his case. Any sociopath that can justify something as crazy as killing themselves in a kid's room has the ability to lie right to the face of a federal judge.

P.P.S. If someone had invested in Kim Kardashian stock decades ago they would be a billionaire, because 14 year old Kim Kardashian.... WOOF.