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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

ONe Member Of The '12th Man' Threatened To Stab Another For Leaving The NFC Championship Game Too Early

1/23/2015

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http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/cops-seahawks-fan-threatened-to-stab-man-leaving-game-early/ar-AA8vABN

MSN.com- According to KOMO News, the incident occurred at 2:53 p.m. outside the stadium, which is right around the time Wilson threw his fourth interception of the day and the Seahawks were trailing the Green Bay Packers 19-7. The fan was walking away from the stadium when the suspect approached him and asked him why he was leaving early, the police report states.

The “excited” and “very intoxicated” man then pulled out a knife and held it to the man’s stomach, threatening him to go back inside. The victim was able to get away and notify police officers, who then tracked down the suspect.

There are quite a few phenomenons at play here. First is that you should never try to be a hero, because inevitably it's not going to work out for you in the end. Someone puts a knife to your stomach, you say "yes sir" and march back down to your seat. Sure, the guy was able to get away this time, but ultimately, he ended up losing anyway.  Someone could put a plastic gun to my back in an alley and I'm giving them all my credit cards and an entire book of blank checks. Probably give them my phone and write out a list of every single password I have ever used for anything. Life just isn't worth whatever crap is in my pockets. So yeah, if someone was threatening my life and all I had to do to avoid it was watch the end of a football game I would be as obedient as Lassie after getting neutered. Hell, if some drunk asshole came up to me and said "you might miss history" I would probably stay out of FOMO, never mind having a switchblade to my kidney.

I'm not a religion man, and I don't know where the guy who avoided a stabbing stands on religion either. I'll tell you one thing though. When a fellow fan of your team pulls a knife on you just to get you to stay it's a sign. If I were that guy I couldn't possibly have more belief in a higher power. What are the odds you end up in that situation? That the one guy with a switchblade runs into you on your way out of a game that your team miraculously wins? That one of your own was so sure that you should stay that he risked prison time? That's like running into traffic and missing your flight that eventually ends up resting next to Atlantis. It's like the complete inverse plot of 'Final Destination'. When something that crazy happens to you, you have to start changing the way you live. In this guy's case it means don't leave games early. This wasn't just a football game, it was a metaphor for life. I bet it felt like the belligerent stranger actually did gut him when he had to listen to his team go to the Super Bowl from the parking lot. 

P.S. Who looks like the dickhead now? It's not the moron who is carrying at a professional football game. To get a knife pulled on you in front of 67,000 people and still end up the proverbial loser is possibly the most remarkable aspect of this story. The drunk lunatic who could barely speak English was a hero all along. It's straight out of a Joan Osborne song….
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