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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Osi Umenyiora's Side Chick Went Off The Deep End With New Instagram Page As Soon As He Got Married

6/2/2015

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First things first, I am not a fan of ruining people's marriages, whether the one party entering into the marriage is a double timing asshole or not. With that said, if you are going to come out with a brand new Instagram completely blowing up someone's spot, 'Lies Of Mirrors' with the guilty party taking a shirtless mirror pic is an A+ cryptic message. Doesn't exactly scream 'I'm so over him', but to each his own. Sometimes you just got to drop a meteor on someone's love life to put them fully in the rearview.

More importantly...Osi, nooooooooooo! Sidechicks....you're doing them wrong. I'm not even someone that is schooled in the art, but even I know you can't let A sidekick become THE sidekick. That's far too much power to give one person. I would assume when you decide to make a rich, successful professional athlete your life partner you accept that there is probably some extra curriculars going on behind your back . I'm sure she knows that her relationship doesn't personify monogamous. Osi can throw a bunch of randoms a bone or two, as long as he is inevitable going back to the only woman that he really loves afterwards. That's where it gets tricky. When you focus all your excess attention on one other woman and use words like 'love', and 'crazy', and 'control' you basically put yourself in a situation where you have two wives. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the one without a ring doesn't feel all that great about it. I would have to imagine that Osi's significant other would much rather have him pounding out 30 women behind her back, if it meant there wasn't one that he had real feelings for. 

Some people just want it all. It's not enough that they have wealth, the love of a beautiful women, and a pass to sling dick all over town. Osi apparently needs the love of two women, and it's going to render him couch-bound no more than a full week into his marriage. To already have an entire Instagram account dedicated to your infidelity and it's only been 3 days? Safe to say that post nuptial honeymoon phase is already over. Banked all your happiness on a scorned women keeping her mouth shut and lost in dramatic fashion. You know you're living in fantasy land when the love of a former 'Miss Universe' isn't enough to truly satisfy you. Oh well, no where to go but up from here, right? Cheers to the 'happy' couple...
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