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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Ovechkin Just Giving Lundqvist A Little Reminder After Absolutely Blasting One Past Him

5/1/2015

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From your lips to God's ears you crazy, crazy Russian. I couldn't possibly get tired of watching you blast frozen ropes in and out of the Rangers net faster than Joel Ward sticking it in and out of their ass with merely seconds remaining.  Well, until next round anyway. Until then, I need you to take permanent residence in Lundqvist's head. Maybe split rent, make some room for Backstrom and Kuznetsov as well. Turn that shit into a hockey house. Hell, turn it into a crack house. Spray paint the walls. Maybe leave a Snickers wrapper or two on the ground. Go out for breakfast and just leave the front door wide the fuck open. Anything that gets the Rangers, and their insanely entitled fan base out of the playoffs sooner rather than later. 
Actually, part of me thinks that Lundqvist had no idea they were down 1-0 until they got back to the locker room. It was then, and only then, that he realized what Ovi was talking about when he was chirping in his ear. Just completely oblivious to the rocket that just flew directly over his shoulder. Get used to at least three more games of that Lundbutt. Warmups are over. I wish Ovechkin whispered in his ear "you're not in Pittsburgh anymore" with a sweet Russian cackle, 'Wizard Of Oz' style. Time to take off your diaper Henry. Real playoff hockey has arrived. Before you throw it out let Nash take a whiff of it. Maybe that will wake him up from his annual playoff induced coma. How long before we see the $8 million dollar healthy scratch, or as I like to call it, 'The Richards Special'. Hey Rangers fans, you can come back from your pre-overtime bathroom break, because Joel Ward just popped a squat on your home ice advantage. I got a feeling that Ovechkin's bags will be unpacked by the start of game two and he'll be chilling comfortably on the couch. Make him a sandwich Lundqvist, maybe then he'll take it easy on you.
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