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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Paul Robertson Says Gays Will Go Extinct Because They Can't Reproduce 

12/20/2014

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Classic question. One that has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. What came first, the chicken or the gay? I'm like 92% certain that Paul thinks gay people landed on Earth in a spaceship, or their arrival into society is some inexplicable phenomenon like Big Foot, or feminists. I imagine him sitting down with a pen and paper and trying to do the arithmetic. Positive plus a positive equals a positive. Negative plus a negative equals a negative.  Gay plus a gay equals a gay, but gays can't multiply so they must be obsolete. This is like the elderly people that still use racial slurs, and refuse to believe that Barack Obama is president. They just don't watch TV or open a newspaper and look at you like you have six heads if you say our president is black. Something like this...
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I think I would rather explain to Robertson how to use each app on my iPhone than explain to him that two heterosexual people can produce a homosexual. There would absolutely be a higher rate of success. I think he would have to follow the entire life cycle all the way from conception until the resulting child was old enough to engage in sexual relations with someone of the same sex. I just don't have that kind of time on my hands and he definitely doesn't either. You know when you engage in an argument and your friend just keeps making the same point over and over again and can't elaborate on it? I could make the most compelling argument in the world and Robertson would still be sitting there repeating "the gays are going extinct!". Zero percent chance he would ever admit defeat.

The best part about this video is the question had absolute nothing to do with homosexuality. Robertsen was sitting home eating through a straw and watching reruns of MASH, and masterminded this theory days ago. It's like when you think up the perfect joke and can't wait to use it with your buddies. Then you get so excited that you use it in the wrong context, or you fuck up the delivery, or it just doesn't go over as well as it did in your head.  I could have asked Paul Robertson what the weather is like outside and he would have told me that "gays are going to die out". There just can't be anyone still living in the modern world that was sitting there nodding along in agreement when Paul dropped that first line. Even the woman who is being paid to let him spew his psychobabble is so clearly holding back her thoughts through the guise of a smirk.

P.S. I don't care if you are attracted to women, men, frogs, elephants, trees, or dead people. If you didn't laugh when he dropped that first line you are not human. It may be the single funniest thing I have heard this week. 

P.P.S. This picture is from a satire sight, but if I didn't include it I wouldn't be able to live with myself. "Amoral faggotaceous period", actual fucking tears.
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P.P.P.S. Who is dumber? The overly opinionated half dead guy, or the lady in the asexual cult writing in about her "church". Whatever you do, don't drink the 'juice' lady...
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