Penn State Can't Handle The Truth: Buries Game Tape Of Their Loss To Temple

You know what they say about things that die? Even if it was for a short period of time, they undoubtedly had to live first. So, as much of an abortion as Penn State's performance was, there is no grave deep enough to erase it from existence. It's memory will live on forever. I don't even hate the move. If Rutgers didn't just lose, but got embarrassed by a team as mediocre as Temple, then I would be scared about what that said about my football team as well. I too, would hide all reminders of such a traumatizing event. However, that's not how life works. You can't just put all your transgressions behind you and forget about them. That's why I am tempted to throw on a black trench coat and start walking around with a fisherman's hook. If no one is going to incessantly mail "I Know You Did Last Weekend" letters to James Franklin and members of his football program then it appears I am going to have to take the lead on helping Penn State remember the sins of their past. 

Hey James, disposing of the body doesn't make it a life unlived. You could dig a hole to fucking China and throw that tape down, but at the end of the day your offensive line still sucks. You still gave up a sack to a 2-man rush. You still didn't score a single point after taking a 10-0 lead over Temple. No ceremonial destruction of evidence is going to make the memory of that felonious performance disappear over the course of a week.. If you are going to hold a funeral then you might as well lay the whole season to rest. There's only so many plots of land to dig up. Wouldn't want Happy Valley to become Death Valley because you were forced to turn the entire campus into a game tape graveyard by early December. Plus, student athletes are too goddamn busy to attend 12 different funerals. At least wait till Rutgers comes to town on Sacktember 19th before you pour the dirt back on top. Better to kill two birds with one stone. Who knows, maybe some of the fans will be suicidal enough by the start of the 4th quarter to pour themselves a glass of 'punch' and jump in there with it. You want to live by the cut mentality, then you might as well die by it too, and nothing is more cult-like than rotting in a mass grave of disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the foresight to make funeral arrangements, but you guys might want to wait a few weeks before you start mourning.