Source- McDonald's released its eagerly awaited Minions Happy Meal toys this week, but the creatures' cutesy innocence isn't fooling vigilant dads and moms around the country. Almost instantly, complaints have started pouring in, alleging that one particular Minion (the one with two eyes and a loincloth) takes the whole "despicable" thing too far. The toys spout gibberish when a button's pressed, but these adults contend Minion Caveman is a potty mouth that straight-up says the phrase, "What the fuck."
"It turned out to be a toy that decided to talk profanity," one very disappointed grandfather told WFTV in Orlando. "I can't believe it's coming out of a toy." A different father in Columbus who was apparently so distraught he couldn't put on a shirt told the Fox affiliate there that he "showed a couple of other people, that way it wasn't just me misunderstanding it, and no, it clearly says what it says."
And there you have it folks. Outrage that stems from a cultural misunderstanding between humans and fictional bug eyed, yellow animations. It was only a matter of time before they invaded our children's ears with their filthy, nondescript language. This is just the beginning. First it's complimentary McDonald's toys, and the next thing you know they'll be carrying that same kind of filth onto the big screen. I fully expect the next 'Despicable Me' movie to be filled with racial epithets and sexually graphic images. They lured their way into our homes through the love of our offspring and they have finally hatched their plan to take over the minds of our youth. These little guys are like the cuter, less capable version of those bionic bastards in 'I, Robot'. Sure, they look harmless on the outside, but just wait until they get mixed in with your fries and start their mutiny.
Quick question. How fucking dumb can people be? It's rhetorical, but I feel like every few days I have to stop and ask myself if we are truly getting stupider by the second. I would imagine the main reason that you don't want inappropriate language being spoken around your kids is because you're afraid they will repeat it. So sure, a little push button toy from a shitty fast food restaurant blurting out "buh buh BUH" sounds like "what the FUCK" to me too. However, that's only because I have been saying "what the FUCK" on a bi-daily basis since I was 11 years old. If your kid thinks that stupid, poorly made toy is cursing at him/her that means you have already failed as a parent. That means that phrase has already been ingrained in their head and they may even slightly understand it. That's not on the minions. It's not on the people making McDonald's toys for 6 cents an hour. It's not on McDonald's for accidentally slipping an interspecies homonym into the voice box of worthless novelty toy. It's on you, and you only.