Peyton Manning Sarcastically Made Up An Injury Report For Members Of The Denver Media And It Was Gold
I think it was about two weeks ago when Peyton Manning had a quote talking about how he is a average to below average trash talker. I was really tempted to blog it. I was basically just going to say that the only walk of life in which Peyton is considered the best shit talker in the room is when he's playing Eli in ping pong at the family reunion, or playing Bingo with the local church group. Ultimately I decided that Peyton being mild mannered wasn't newsworthy enough to write about. On the other hand, this? This is funny. Manning has always had a pretty dry sense of humor. He's not a complete wet blanket like Jay Cutler or a mouth breather like his brother. So, you know what, I am man enough to admit when I am wrong. Peyton Manning is a little more witty, and dare I say it, snarky then I originally had given him credit for.
I think what I find humorous is that this is basically what Peyton Manning considers to be mean. It actually came off as light hearted and playful, but that's just because Manning is too schooled in the art of media relations to ever let a sound bite of his be perceived in a negative way. However, make no mistake, in normal people terms his answer roughly translates to "are we really fucking discussing this?".
If this were me I would have said that Klis had carpal tunnel from rubbing himself out to highlights of my incompletions. I would have said that D-Mac had laryngitis from screaming into his pillow while taking it deep from that thoroughbred Woody Paige all week. I would have said that Lindsay Jones was probably suffering from a yeast infection because there is no way that PMS can possibly last that long. That would just be my, uhhh, "colorful personality" showing through, but don't get it misconstrued, we would both be saying pretty much the same thing in our own way. I am actually a little jealous of Peyton Manning in that sense. I don't have the ability to insult people without them realizing they are being insulted. Only the dumbest of the dumb let my insults pass smoothly over their heads without turbulence. Sarcasm that subtle is quite the art, and for that reason, I will give Peyton in the benefit of doubt in saying that he is closer to an average shit talker than a below average shit talker. Not too hard to see that the guy is obviously in the twilight of a Hall Of Fame career, and is tired of having to answer questions about his health. If that's not crystal clear to the Denver media after today then he might just have to hire me to pen his answers for him.