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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Pornstar Lisa Ann Roasts Michael Del Zotto On Twitter

11/2/2014

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As you may imagine, I get some pretty random texts.. Takes a lot to annoy me, but some people strive at it..

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

The most annoying texter in the history of my life has been.., hands down @MichaelDelZotto ... Shocker right!

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

Yes, @MichaelDelZotto the STUD NHL player... For some reason he thinks I am a dating service and will arrange dates for him.

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

Strange, most guys want to date me, not use me to find other dates but OK.. I have asked him for 2 years to stop.

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

Don't get mad. Been so busy with the season I haven't been out at all. Any chance you have met a sweetheart for me to actually hang out with

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

So girls,... Do me a favor... Just to do the kid the favor and get it out of my hands @MichaelDelZotto is looking for dates, lots of them!

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

Wait now.. Maybe today I should build a "dating profile" for @MichaelDelZotto here on Twitter. Girls who want to date him can follow him!

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

What specifics should we put on @MichaelDelZotto Dating Profile on twitter? I have never made a profile like this before, so.. hummmm

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

HA HA HA I have been #Blocked @MichaelDelZotto Blocked me.. I'm actually laughing out loud. hysterically.. Maybe he will leave me alone now!

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

short story... It all started about 2 years ago when I was hosting an event @MichaelDelZotto reached out to the promoter to meet me..

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

I looked him up, he was with the Rangers at the time, looked cute, I thought ok, Pro Athlete, he won't try to kill or rob me, so sure I will

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

short story... It all started about 2 years ago when I was hosting an event @MichaelDelZotto reached out to the promoter to meet me..

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

So, we go on a date, its nice, hang out- yada yada yada... about a week later he started asking if could hook him up with girls on the road

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

I say NO... I say YO, you are a cute kid, you can pull tail, if not have your agent do it.. just don't ask me....

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

After 4 months of going to games and explaining that to him, I finally gave up.. so about a year goes by and we don't talk..

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014

We reconnect and start talking and we get right back to this before we even had another date our selves.. I did warn him of this outcome

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) November 2, 2014
Fan the flames! Don't stop the fight! Michael Del Zotto is getting roasted and it's pure gold. This time it isn't by opposing forwards either. That's probably the most shocking part about this story. One time intriguing prospect with loads of potential turned journeyman defenseman, Michael Del Zotto, has taken his fair share of hits to his reputation. Usually it has been for the on-ice product. It is comforting to know he is just as much of a loser off the ice as well.

I really don't find this all that surprising. Confidence is a mind set in all walks of life. It translates and shows itself in everything you say or do. Know how a premier prospect turns into a borderline NHLer? Supreme lack of confidence. He is probably one of those people that takes 30 minutes to pick what he wants off the menu. Probably does that thing where he runs into someone and can't decide which way to go like 5 times a day. I would imagine he goes through every outfit in his wardrobe before actually leaving the house. No doubt he has to think about putting one foot in front of the other just to walk down the street. MDZ has never taken a confident step in his life. Just ask the the three teams he has been on in the last three years.

Rule number one about talking to porn stars is know that everything you say or do is going to go public. They get fucked in front of millions of people. The people in the pornography profession aren't usually restricted by privacy norms. There is a camera hallway to their colon every single day, pretty sure they don't care if a professional athlete gets a little butt hurt. There's no problem with conversing with porn stars. I would imagine it's probably very fun, but like with anything else, there is a delicate risk vs. reward balance. Maybe don't pester her for dates. I know she's gets naked on camera, but she's still technically a human being. Seeking courtship through people you have already gone out with is about as reliable as a restaurant review from a vegan.

I don't completely hate where his head was at though. The biggest problem with dating sites is sifting through people's intentions. Generally men are looking for the next strange vagina, and women are searching for love….or something. If you do your dating through porn stars you are basically guaranteeing yourself that your dates end in the sheets.100% DTF rate. Don't have to worry about buying two dinners and ending up bone dry come closing time.  However, you do probably have to worry about performance anxiety. These 'people', quite literally, eat people like Del Zotto for breakfast. I would be shocked if Del Zotto can measure up in the sac. I'd bet my car that he cries during sex. Never been more sure of anything in my life. I would say there probably aren't too many encore performances. Either way, there is a pretty valid upside, but at least give the impression you're carrying some stones under that jock Michael.

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Not the look of a confident man...
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