Pretty Sure Adam Larsson Just Impregnated The Internet

□ Cool shades Larss. □ pic.twitter.com/864jypea3a

— New Jersey Devils (@NHLDevils) September 17, 2015

You know in '40 Year Old Virgin' when Paul Rudd's character decides to become celibate. Then then  Seth Rogan's character basically says that there is three conversations that lead to being gay? Well, I wasn't even on the first conversation yet, and I think Adam Larsson just catapulted me straight to the third one. Am I gay now? Do I like men, or does this video of Adam Larsson transcend sexuality? Yeah, that's it. It's not a gay thing. It's not a bi-sexual thing. Some people are just goddamn beautiful and you have no choice to respect it. Let's hope that's the case because if I was wearing panties they would be fucking soaked.

Want to know how I know Adam Larsson's new contract is a flat out steal and that he is poised for greatness? Well for one, it takes defenseman longer to develop and Larsson has progressed every year he has been given significant playing time (suck it Deboer). However, more importantly than that, dude's confidence is at an all time high. You see him run his hand through his hair? They should have captioned this video "Love At First Sight", because it's straight out of the slow motion scene in every romantic comedy to ever hit the big screen. That's the swagger Devils fans have been waiting for. That's the swagger of a number one defenseman. You don't just arouse the entire internet with one 10 second clip of you on the links then hit the ice and not dominate the blue line. Look good, feel good, play good. He's got the first two down to a science, and the third is merely a formality. It's just a matter of time before Adam Larsson lives up to his draft position and solidifies a young defensive core that is built to become the strength of the team. I don't know if this half chub in my shorts is a testament to how flawlessly the sun gleams of Adam Larsson's picturesque Swedish skin, or how excited I am for hockey season. Let's go with the latter, because I don't think I am ready for the conversation that the former leads to.