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Prostitutes In Italy Are Being Asked To Wear Neon Vests Like Roadside Workers

8/19/2015

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Metro-  Prostitutes in Italy are going to be made to wear high-vis jackets.

Not so that they can be easily spotted at bunga bunga parties, but so that they are safer after dark.

The sex workers have been told to cover up their mini-skirts as well after the deputy mayor of the town of Spino d’Adda ruled they should be treated as ‘road workers’.

Luciano Sinigaglia said; ‘The sex workers should be treated as employees who work on road construction and forced to wear clothes that make them visible.

‘We are almost ready with the definitive draft of the document. I hope to have the new law up and running by the start of September.’

If they don’t comply they could be fined up to £360 and the rules are expected to come into force next month.





You see, this is how you regulate prostitution. Well, not in the United States. Can't imagine it would be too effective to walk around wearing a scarlet letter in the form of a hi-lighter jacket while performing an illegal service. We don't need to make it harder out there for the All-American pimp. Regardless, more progressive regions of the world really have this 'sex in exchange for money' thing figured out. Outside of having strangers put their penis in you, I would imagine the hardest part of hooking is making sure your potential clients know you're a hooker. Nothing more embarrassing for some horny Italian guy than mistaking some sexy, scantily clad minx for a street worker. That's just an awkward situation for all parties involved. Problem solved! Prostituniforms! Who doesn't appreciate a little change in wardrobe. Every time one of of my teams changes jerseys I am absolutely stoked to buy a new one. Maybe we could get these corner dwellers their own number and nickname on the back. That's how you motivate a bunch of whores that are probably on the receiving end of some extremely mediocre dick. 

Honestly, could you think of a better outfit for these women? Prostitution is like the female equivalent of being a construction worker. It's an extremely thankless, unenviable job. Working conditions are generally very poor. Those that call it a career are usually working paycheck to paycheck. It's the definition of blue collar. While construction workers are out there working up a sweat while carrying steel beams in the hot sun, hookers are getting sweat on by a bunch of ugly dudes in a hot car that are about a 6 year gym session away from looking like a construction worker. Grab that lunch pail, it's time to go to work ladies and gentleman. With the propensity that road workers have to cat calling unsuspecting women, prostitutes and construction workers might even end up sharing a work station. Look good, feel good, play good. Don't tell me these hookers aren't performing a little better now that they are a unified coalition of sex workers. They just went from District 5 to the Mighty Ducks, now it's time to give every Goldberg that's wandering around Italy an A+ blowjob for a modest price.
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