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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Results Of The Investigation Are In And It Turns Out That Aqib Talib Did, Indeed, Shoot Himself

10/5/2016

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Sources say Dallas PD has completed the Aqib Talib case. They've determined the Broncos cornerback was not shot by someone but shot himself.

— Rebecca Lopez (@rlopezwfaa) October 4, 2016
LBS- Talib had previously told police he was “too drunk” to remember details of the shooting, but the Broncos had suspected it may have been a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Ultimately, with Talib pleading the drunken fifth and no other witnesses willing to talk to police, the investigation had gone cold for a couple months.



​As if there was any doubt! I don't mean to be overly critical of the "victim" here, but ending up with a bullet in your leg and having everyone's first assumption be that you did it yourself is a pretty big indictment of you as a person.

Not only that, but being "too drunk to remember" is usually a solid indicator that you did something extremely embarrassing. As a drinker myself, I can say that I have probably been "forgot I shot myself" drunk, but I can't say I have been "forgot I got shot by someone else" drunk. I don't have too much experience with getting a pistol pointed at me, but I would imagine that's a fairly sobering feeling. If I had to roughly estimate then I would say that looking down the barrel of a loaded gun has to have the same effect of at least 5 glasses of water. You don't just wake up the next morning with no recollection of having your life literally at someone else's fingertip the night prior.

The same can't be said for when you cause damage to yourself. I have woken up with cuts and bruises and had no knowledge of where they came from. However, witnesses have told me that the only fights they were the result of were with inanimate objects. Bottomline? It's very easy to subconsciously suppress the memories of the stupid shit you have done while belligerently wasted, but - I suspect - it's not so easy to suppress the memory of pissing someone off to the point that they pulled a deadly firearm on you. The second Aqib Talib said he didn't know what happened was the exact second that we should have known EXACTLY what happened. Even investigating it seems like it was a waste of time and resources.

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