FTW- “I hate to admit it. I hate to admit it,” Ryan said Friday, shaking his head. “We had to [leave]. We had to get back to work. We got to get back to work. We have the rain delay, and I’m like, ‘You gotta be kidding.’ And when you look at it, it’s like, ‘Alright, when’s it gonna pass.’ I’ll be honest, I wanted to stay, but I’m like, ‘If this thing’s in a delay for a couple hours, there’s no way. We gotta get back.’
“The thing that was funny, we leave. We were in the bleachers, and we slide out. I’m like, ‘God, we gotta go.’ As we go, I hear that, ‘Hey, it’s clear that the rain stopped.’ But by then, we’re like, ‘Nah, we’re heading out.’ It was disappointing.” I can't believe this. In fact, I won't believe this. I don't even care if it truly happened. I don't need Rex Ryan to be a good football coach, but I do need him to be the type of person that never leaves a game early - especially when said game is for his favorite team's first championship in 108 years. The picture I have painted of Rex Ryan in my head is one of a man that could miss the final out of the World Series because he was arguing with a staffer to re-open the concession stands in the 10th inning. It's certainly not of a man that puts his hand out in front of him, feels a few droplets, and gives that "might be time to go" side-eye to his buddies. Say it ain't so Rex. Say you're not the guy constantly checking his watch and contemplating traffic during a goddamn legendary sporting event. As far as I am concerned, Rex Ryan watched the Cubbies exorcise the curse and is only lying about it to sound better to his bosses who have undoubtedly gone back and forth on hitting the eject button on his employment since the end of last season. Yeah, that's got to be it. He's basically the high school kid telling his teacher he fell asleep in class because he was up late studying, and that it had nothing to do with him losing track of time while finger banging the neighbor until his digits started to prune. There's just no way he could selfishly make his entire group leave the best, most important baseball game in as long as I can remember because he wanted to prepare for a football game that was 5 fucking days away. It's not possible. I refuse to believe anyone - never mind everyone's favorite player's coach - walked out of Progressive Field during a slight break in the action of a historic sporting event in which he had a vested interest. I understand that it's pretty childish to feel let down by the actions of a public figure who you thought you'd someday love to have a beer with. That said, if Rex Ryan really sacrificed a once-in-multiple-lifetimes moment to script his first 15 unquestionably shitty plays for a Week 9 game he's probably going to lose anyway then I'll never respect him again as a man.
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