Rob Ryan Is Headed To Buffalo And I Think I Just Became A Conspiracy Theorist

Source tells @NFLonFOX that Rob Ryan is joining @buffalobills defensive coaching staff working under/with his twin brother Rex.

— Alex Marvez (@alexmarvez) January 11, 2016

I understand that this may come across as the incoherent ramblings of a crazy person, but is it possible that Rob Ryan intentionally coached his way out of New Orleans? Not to say that he wasn't trying to field a competent defense, but is it conceivable that after starting off 1-4 he just decided to say "fuck it" and not make a single adjustment in hopes of getting canned? I know, I know, on the surface it doesn't seem to make sense. After all, New Orleans is the perfect city for Rob Ryan. However, as much as I love NOLA, you can't deny that there is a very real shot clock (no pun intended) that exists for how long the gluttonous, debaucherous, and potentially alcoholic can remain within the city limits. Even the most degenerative of human beings need a break from the partying after awhile. If I spend four days there I am ready to sign myself up for rehab by the pre-brunch hurricane on day three. Why would it be an different for Rob Ryan? He was there for the better portion of three years, there was not enough 'Snickers' on the planet to help him get away fast enough. 

Now obviously heading to Buffalo isn't exactly going to sober him up, but at least now he can do his drinking on his couch in his stained sweatpants. No more Mardi-Gras. No more St. Patty's Day. No more music festivals. No more necessity to carry himself like a semi-respectable person in the public eye. Just enough dog hairs to wash away a three year hangover. As many half price apps as the local Applebee's allows per person. The animosity that existed between Rob Ryan and Sean Payton by the end of his tenure was undeniable. What better way to avoid that hostility than by coaching with your brother in a "city" that has drastically lower expectations?