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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Rockies' Fans Miss First Pitch Of The Home Opener Because Of Insane Security Lines

4/12/2015

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CBS Sports- This season, MLB has required all 30 clubs to install metal detectors at their ballpark entrances to improve security. Some teams installed them midway through last season, but all of them need them this season. League rules.

Thanks to congestion created by the metal detectors, a large group of Rockies fans were stuck outside Coors Field for the start of Friday's home opener and missed the pre-game ceremonies. Eventually the ballpark staff let fans bypass the metal detectors to get into the stadium, report Brian Hernandez and Mark Stewart of ABC 7 in Denver.

First Cubs fans can’t take a leak without missing the entirety of their starting pitching and now Rockies fans can’t even see the first pitch of the home opener? Isn’t going to a professional sporting event inconvenient enough? Sitting in traffic, $20 parking, $10 dollar beers, and apparently hour long lines for some minimum wage worker to give you everything short of a colonscopy? I’ll tell you a little secret. As someone in my late 20’s I have surpassed the period of my life where I wait in lines. I’d rather go sit in empty bar by myself than wait more than 5 minutes to get into the town hot spot. I’m more likely to pull a gun on myself while sitting in an obnoxiously long line than coming into a spring baseball game strapped.

Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t mind being patted down or going through a metal detector, as long as it’s done in a timely manner. You want to pinch my cheeks like you’re a senile grandmother? Readjust my manhood like I’m a Calvin Klein model? Come within a slip of a finger from butt stuff? Have at it. Just get me in the game I paid so handsomely to attend. Get me in prior to the over-the-top NBA introductions. Get me in before the Devils score their first goal, or more likely, give up their first goal. I need the wide eyed naivete that comes with the beginning of a scoreless game. I need that couple minutes of optimism before reality hits in the form of a one goal differential. Don’t set a terrible precedent Coors Field, don’t take that from me!

Is it really necessary for extensive searches at the first home game of the Rockies season? No one is even suicidal yet. No one is showing up with weaponry. Maybe some drug paraphernalia, but most of that is glass or plastic, and for the most part, legal. Coors Field is one of the most eco-friendly stadiums in the league. Let's just say they've gone full 'green'. The only thing getting killed on the opening weekend is a year long supply of Hebrew Nationals.
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