USA Today- In his first public comments since abruptly resigning Sept. 5, former Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington said he was embarrassed and at a "very low time in my life" after not being true to his wife after 42 years of marriage.
First of all, where have I been? Literally had no idea Ron Washington resigned out of the clear blue. What could it have been? Health issues? Problems with his kids? Nooooope, just fucked another broad.
Waiiiiiit a minute…No chance this is a thing. You can't just resign because you cheated on your wife, that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Now let's just say what it is. You didn't resign because you cheated on your wife. You resigned because you got caught cheating on your wife. That's the truth. If you are going to just up and leave your team at least tell the truth.
Now the question weighing on everyones mind…Is Ron Washington the worst cheater ever? You never have to use the 'I gotta work late' or the 'I gotta go away on business' excuse. It's literally built into your job description. Your wife can find your exact schedule with the click of a button or by looking at a magnet on her fridge. He is in a different city every week. Never has to worry about his wife coming home or wondering where he is. As long as he doesn't give his phone number out he can sleep with countless different women a year, and never have to worry about getting caught. If you don't tell women you're Ron Washington, Texas Rangers coach, they would never have a damn clue.
Save the crocodile tears Ron. You can't just quit your job because you cheated. ESPECIALLY when you are the manager of a professional sports team. What would a team say if all the players that cheat came out and said "my wife is making me quit"? That would be roughly 60%, maybe 70%, of the league quitting.
This is such a cop out I can't even believe it. So if the Texas Rangers were in contention for a World Series like they have been in recent years Washington still would have quit? 0% chance. The Rangers are absolutely putrid. Basically instead of losing for a few more weeks then dealing with an inevitably crazy wife, he just expedited the process.
Don't give me this sob story. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He should have just rode out the rest of the season and banged all the strange he possibly could on the road. You're already a cheater who is about to go home to an absolute buzz saw, might as well.
P.S. He is officially on lockdown for life now, right? You don't just quit your job as a professional coach and get another gig in the future.
C'mon Ron, When all else fails, ask Shaggy….