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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Ronda Rousey Doesn't Want The Person That Bought Her Broken Down Honda On Ebay To Beat Off In It

6/8/2015

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MMA- Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey recently sold her old car on Ebay. The winning bid? $21,300, a pretty hefty price for a used 2005 Honda Accord LX with over 150,000 miles and a bum transmission.

But it belonged to "Rowdy" and if you're a super fan, well ... it might just be worth the investment. That said, the Olympian does have one little request for the new owner.

"I love it very much and hope the next owner will be someone who will love and respect it," Rousey told TMZ Sports. "And not some crazy super fan who jerks off to it everyday."




In today's installment of 'Life Isn't Fair' we have Ronda Rousey selling her broken down piece of shit Honda Accord for over $20,000. I'll tell you, it must be nice. The rich get richer and the poor are stuck hustling desk lamps for 10 cents a pop at their yard sales. How awesome would it be to increase the value of ANYTHING simply by owning it? There isn't a better example of that than this huge piece of scrap metal going for the annual salary of someone making minimum wage. A Honda Accord is the all white tennis shoe of automobiles. Completely nondescript. Nothing interesting or fashionable about it. It's the most underwhelming thing to come out of Japan since Dice K or that loser Tanaka. Literally the only thing that is has going for it is that it does it's job, and Ronda's doesn't even have a capable transmission. Don't let that stop some weirdo from purchasing it for 10x it's worth off an auction site. If we are looking for people destined for a jail cell it's the guy buying cars off eBay. Don't tell me I didn't warn you in a couple years when this guy makes Jerry Sandusky look like a suitable parent.

That's adorable that you don't want some creep masturbating in your old car Ronda. I'm sure he's just going to place it in his backyard next to his garden and admire it's 'beauty'. A piece of advice? If you don't want that thing to be the home to more unborn children than an abortion clinic you better let it burn faster than an Irish dude on Memorial Day Weekend. That thing is about to hold more sperm than if  'Pimp My Ride' stayed true to it's connotation. I give it a week before a fully clothed female can't sit in the backseat without ending up pregnant with twins. It's about to contain so much semen that the only respectable place to keep it is safely under his bed until the next lonely Saturday night. There aren't non-sexual deviants out there buying a celebrities trash for the same prize as if it were brand new. That's the compromise you make with yourself. If you are attractive and famous everything you own immediately quadruples in value as long as you accept that at some point it will be used as a cum rag. Bet you that interior gets switched from gray to off-white real quick. Can it be considered a true 'love stain' if there is no longer the presence of any other color? Won't even have to take it to the Auto Detailer. Just a couple longs hours and sore wrists away from a complete aesthetic overhaul.

Might as well be a target. Words haven't been so closely affiliated with climax since the first time I said 'I love you'.
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