Russell Wilson, Ciara, And Family Took A Photo That Would Make Beyonce Raise An Eyebrow

Just The 4 Of Us. ❤️ @harpersbazaarus

A post shared by Ciara (@ciara) on Mar 7, 2017 at 10:55am PST

I'm already annoyed by the people that are automatically going to claim this picture is the most beautiful-est thing they have ever laid on eyes on just because it features a pregnant woman and her loved ones. Out of respect for all the family photos that were strategically shot to highlight eternal love and the miracle of childbirth, I am going to draw the line at this random, nonsensical clusterfuck of nudity. Sorry, but my heart is not melting at the sight of a picture where a husband has his head buried in his wife's ass for no discernible reason. You wouldn't be brought to your knees if you walked into your neighbor's house and their was a framed snapshot of them Picasso'd together naked hanging over their mantle, so why give self absorbed celebrities that don't think they can do anything wrong the benefit of believing they have a keener eye?

Props to the man behind the camera - who undoubtedly needs his internet history wiped clean - for selling this 'Mr. Potato Head' pose as some symbolic masterpiece, but - objectively speaking - this picture is fucking creepy and should have been left on the floor of the dark room. You can let the maternal glow blind you from the paternal emasculation that's taking place in this photo if you so choose. Just know that by doing so you are enabling rich assholes and their arrogance in thinking their shitty pictures don't stink, as well as the disturbing imagination of a photographer that has 3:1 odds of being a sexual predator of some kind. 

P.S. It probably didn't feel like it when he first saw his baby mama clutching his son's asscheek while being held around the waist by another man, but Russell Wilson's head not even appearing in this photo is a huge win for 'Future'. You want to talk symbolism? This picture tells me that the marriage it represents is less about the actual man in it and more about Ciara wanting to settle down with a nice, dorky type that's ready for the hoodless sweatshirt life of raising two children.