Russell Wilson Wants To Change The Overtime Rules, And His Suggestion Is The Worst Suggestion In Sports History

LBS- The Seattle Seahawks quarterback was on the end of one Sunday night, and he suggested a way to break the tie: a field goal contest.

“Let’s say we’re the away team,” Wilson suggested, via Sheil Kapadia of ESPN. “We win the coin toss, we get the ball on the 35-yard line going in. You kick one field goal. You can’t do anything else but a field goal. You make the field goal, the game’s over. If you miss the field goal, the game’s over and the other team wins.

“I just think that if you play that long, you’re putting your lives on the line. You should find a way to win. I don’t like ending in a tie.”


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This idea is so fucking ridiculous that I truly want to believe it was conjured up in jest. Unfortunately, I have seen no proof that wit is one of the tools in Russell Wilson's arsenal. I suppose his sense of humor could potentially be drier than his dick during his engagement to Ciara, but I'm not entirely sure that his native language of never-ending coach-speak accounts for sarcasm. If it does, then he's basically been treating jokes like they were blasphemous towards the God whose sole purpose is to help him win, lose, or apparently tie football games since he first came into the league. That's why I have assume that this was legitimate suggestion for how to "fix" overtime rules that were only "broken" by one of the most inept offensive performances in NFL history.

Someone want to do me a favor and grab Russy one of his 'Recovery' waters out of fridge. I know he hasn't gone through concussion protocol, but this stunning display of stupidity is as telltale of a sign of brain trauma as a guy needing to hide under the covers when the lights are turned on. A do-or-die shot from the 35 yard line? Are we trying to decide who gets the ball first in a game of '21' or the result of 1-of-16 NFL games? Russell Wilson basically took the worst aspects of NFL overtime and the worst aspects of college football overtime, threw them in a blender, topped it off with a couple handfuls of horse manure, whipped up a shit smoothie, and acted like he created the elixir for something that wasn't even remotely plaguing professional football.

The Seahawks-Cardinals game turned into parody of itself because of the botching of damn-near-unmissable field goals, so when a similar situation arises we should make the outcome more reliant on field goals? If we are actually going to consider this a rational solution to a fictitious problem then I would like to submit my equally thought out proposal which is that team captains go to mid-field and play Russian roulette to completion. Surviving team wins, and the best part is that the losing team won't even have to deal with the agony of watching their kicker shank away a sure victory. I suppose that impinges on player safety, but - let's be honest - that's as much of a farce as Russell Wilson trying to bend the rules to better fit his team's occasional incompetence.