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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Russian Salon Gets Shut Down For Offering Nude Haircuts

6/30/2015

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Metro-  For £50, patrons could enjoy a naked haircut, and it was said to be so popular that customers were queueing down the street.

But the unusual venture’s popularity was also its downfall – as drunken customers often tried to enter a nearby centre for autistic children after confusing the doors of the two very different establishments.

Ludmila Mihailova, the school’s headmistress, said: ‘We could not let the kids out into the playground any longer, there were so many drunken men around trying to get into the building’.

And an undercover police officer was shocked after he went undercover at the salon to investigate reports of drug dealing, and was offered an optional service for £100 where he could be naked during the haircut too.



Regular client Sergey Voronov said: ‘Once you get inside you get met by a girl with big breasts who offers you a cup of coffee and flirts with you. The lights are turned down and they then start to talk about what services they can offer.

‘They do pedicures and manicures as well as the haircuts. The longer you end up sitting there the more you pay’.

But the salon’s managers have refuted suggestions that what they were doing was prostitution – as the hairdressers do not have sex with the clients.

However, in the footage taken by the police officer he is given the option of booking more time with the girl that gave him the haircut – at a cost of £400.




Listen, I'm not one to pass on looking at a nice Russian rack right in my face for 15-20 minutes, but I have a strict policy on mixing sexuality and grooming. No. Fucking. Thanks. Hell, even shower sex is overrated. I had a friend that used to have his girlfriend shave his back. Long story short. I don't think I will ever look at hair removal the same way again. Sure, in theory it seems pretty relaxing to sit back in a chair, guzzle down a coffee, and have a hot little minx chat you up about current events in the nude. In practice, much less sexy. Fucking hair flying all over the place. Then you have a weird salon boner that you can't hide because your arms are at you side. Haircuts are supposed to be relaxing. There is nothing relaxing about having a erection in a public place. Even if it common in their place of business. We start giving nude haircuts then we're only one step from nude dentistry, and it takes a real sick son of a bitch to get turned on as someone is prodding around your mouth with a sharp piece of metal. 

I have an idea. Why don't we save the sexuality for sexual places? You know instead of having a bunch of communist pervs getting drunk and standing on line to overpay for a haircut in the middle of the day. Guys, guys, guys. Save your money. Hit a barber shop and save the excess cash for the titty bar. I would imagine drunkenly stumbling into a center for autistic children when you were just trying to get a naked haircut is quite the reality check. At least take your business somewhere you are accepted. Somewhere you don't have to wait in line and it's not frowned upon to be a sexual deviant. Can't remember a time I have ever waited in line to get into a strip club, and if I am going to walk out of a place of business dirty it better not be a place I paid to clean me up a bit. 

P.S. The happy ending seems pretty enticing since everyone feels better about themselves after a haircut. However, if you are going to go the prostitution route wouldn't you prefer someone who works the shaft as a profession instead of someone that focuses strictly on your head?
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