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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Sean Avery Walks Off Set Of Broadway Play Because Of Pizza, Or Because He's Sean Avery

11/5/2014

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http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/sean-avery-quits-broadway-play--throws-tantrum-over-pizza-offer--report-183228414.html

Yahoo Sports- It was supposed to be Avery’s stage debut, and the first time he would have been relevant on Broadway since John Tortorella benched him ...Alas, it appears Avery will not be joining the ranks of Frank Langella, Alfred Molina and Shrek as Broadway icons. According to Page Six, Avery had a “Shia LaBeouf-style meltdown” and quit his new play days before its opening. 

There he is. Where have you been Sean? It's a minor miracle we haven't heard from Avery in this long. Like a whining child, he needs his attention. Always has, always will. The life story of Sean Avery has always been about making his life a story. I don't mean that in a positive way. 

For arguments sake, let's give Avery the benefit of the doubt. No matter how hard that may be. Let's say this stage hand did call him an asshole. That can't be the reason that he threw a fit. Doesn't he know by now that he is an asshole? This girl could have berated him with every derogatory name in the book and it would have been justified. She could have used a megaphone to scream 'cunt' directly into his inner ear cavity and it would have been well deserved. 

You know how much notoriety the "best friend of the main character" gets? I suppose it varies by play, but they certainly don't get as much as the main character. That's why this temper tantrum ensued. Avery has never been the most talented hockey player, or model, or actor, yet has always demanded the most attention. He is a person that will never be content without the spotlight on him. It's the reason he's not in the NHL. On a MUCH smaller scale, he has suffered the same fate as Terrell Owens, Michael Sam, and Tim Tebow. A player whose talent is surpassed by his baggage. Simply not worthy of the fanfare that follows him.

Whether the stage hand called him an asshole or not, he most certainly deserved to be called one. Who turns down free New York pizza? If someone asks me if I want a slice the answer is yes 1,000% of the time. That's as close to a rhetorical question as you can possibly get. I'm not saying you should always eat pizza, but I'm not saying you shouldn't. Especially when is is offered. Only a true douchebag would do that, and Sean Avery is douchebag personified. Turning down free pizza from the pizza capital of the world is like spitting in the face of everyone who doesn't have the opportunity to experience it on a daily basis.

Bottomline: Never trust a person that turns down pizza. Most un-American shit I have ever heard. 

P.S. It's all for the best anyway, who would pay this guy to act…..
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