Now this is a divisive executive order I can get behind. Donald Trump's muslim ban may have overstepped the bounds of the Constitution, but I'm so for enacting Murphy's Law towards the Atlanta Falcons that I encourage the detainment of Who Dat Nation members who are bordering on fleeing to the bandwagon of the true undesirables. Sean Payton hoping that this Super Bowl will forever be marked as the city of Atlanta's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day is all I needed to hear to strengthen my rooting interests. In fact, now that he almost mentioned it, I almost feel like cheering for their demise isn't enough. Anyone got a strand of Matt Ryan's hair I could borrow? As long as you stop looking at my fingers then I "promise" it won't be used in the crafting of the voodoo doll I now feel compelled to make. I just listened to the Commander-in-chief of the Saints' cut himself off and change the subject when he felt his answer quickly trending to the right side of the rivalry and the wrong side of diplomacy. That was about as close as you're going to get to hearing an NFL Head Coach say "fuck them", and I think that means those of us that were already saying "fuck them" need to take our hatred to the next level come kickoff.
So - if only for a couple hours - try harder than you've ever tried to forget that Bill Belichick's greatness is only surpassed by his bitchy lifelessness. Temporarily rid your mind of the mental image of insufferable Boston fans parading the streets with their obnoxious accents and superiority complex. Wash your mind - and twitter feed - free of nauseatingly repetitive jokes about deflated footballs and practices that were so non-consensually filmed that it makes the amateur porn industry look crime free. Cheer endlessly for the man that stole an entire season away from Sean Payton and Co. to have to endure an exchange so awkward that it would make Larry David cringe. If you're not going to do it for you then do it for Drew Brees who is now - somehow - one of two starting quarterbacks in the NFC South without an MVP award. If you're not going to do it for him than do it to appease the man whose arrival in New Orleans spurned flat out domination of the heated rival that tripped, fell, and - against all odds - landed in the championship.