Seattle Busted Watering Down Their Beers

http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/11/12/7205889/seahawks-selling-watered-down-beer-century-link-field

SBNation- Ever been to a game at CenturyLink Field and thought your beer didn't taste quite right? Your taste buds didn't deceive your ability to taste Buds, because it turns out the Seahawks have been watering down their beverages.

Stella Artois: 
5.0% advertised ABV
4.8% tested

Bud Light:
4.2% advertised
3.9% tested

Redhook Brewery No Equal:
5.2% advertised
4.8% tested

Shocktop:
5.2% advertised
4.7% tested

Bass Pale Ale:
5.1% advertised
4.5% tested

Budweiser:
5.0% advertised
4.4% tested


You know, .2%-.6% alcohol is pretty paltry in the grand scheme of things. That's not the infuriating part of this story. Stadium beers generally cost somewhere between $8.50-$10.00. That's why this is complete bullshit. You want to give me some watered down Bud Light and charge me $5 by all means. Not when I am basically paying a dollar per half a percent. That is downright unAmerican. Ticket prices for NFL games are already astronomical. Can't the average fan just drowned out the thought of dropping $200 a ticket for a 3 hour game with a beer that is worth it's weight in alcohol? Why does everything in professional sports have to be a scheme to bend the fans over the barrel?

I understand the theory behind this, I suppose. Stadiums trying to limit the amount of alcohol related incidents. Unfortunately, this does no such thing. The only thing this accomplishes is giving the fan, who wants to casually enjoy a beer or two, an inferior product for an absurd price. Let's be rational here for a second. How many beers does even the most degenerate drinker purchase at games? Five? Maybe? That's a combined 2.5% alcohol. Not nearly enough to take a fan from rowdy to belligerent. The fact is the people that are going to get into scuffles are the people that walk into the building ready to fight. The dude that slammed a 6-er in the parking lot an hour before game time is prone to trouble, regardless if he drinks a 4.8% beer or a 5.2% beer inside. No one is getting drunk off  $9 stadium beers alone.

Seattle though? Of all places? I've been to Seattle. Great city. I want no part of it anytime other than summer. You think it is a coincidence that it has the highest suicide rate? Pretty sure it is cold and rainy every day from October through May. I would have to be hammered to enjoy a late fall or winter game there. They should ADD alcohol to the beers. The only thing worse than a drunk fan is an uncomfortable, disgruntled fan. They should give out free 5th's of scotch on the way in. You should have to reach a certain BAC upon entry just to make sure you are drunk enough to enjoy yourself.

I guess this kind of means that Seattle definitely pumps in artificial crowd noise, right? A bunch of wet, cold motherfuckers drinking 4.8% beers aren't tipping any richter scales by themselves. Might as well serve up some twisted teas with extra ice. 12th woman maybe. Enjoy your Bud Light Lite. 

Are those Bud Light Limes? Losing respect for the city by the second….