Selfies Being Responsible For More Deaths Than Shark Attacks Is NOT News

Metro- People have tumbled down the steps of the Taj Mahal, fallen off bridges and been electrocuted in an effort to take the perfect selfie.

In fact, there have been more selfie-related deaths this year than have have been deaths from shark attacks.

At least 12 people have been killed taking selfies while only eight have died in shark attacks.



There is one surprising thing, and one surprising thing only, about this statistic. That's the supposed fact that only 12 people died from taking selfies this year. I would think that number would be well into the hundreds. So while I'm sure there is some fatal flaw in the statistical analysis of selfie related deaths, I'll just use the numbers that were given to me. Anyway, let's break down the completely obvious reasons why this happens to be true....

- Generally speaking, people don't seek out sharks unless they doing some type of research that features a protective cage. That's mostly because getting eaten by a shark doesn't get you likes. If there was such thing as a waterproof Instagram there would be insecure idiots wrapping themselves in chum, slitting their wrists, and venturing out further from the beach.

- Your selfie isn't worth a shit if it wasn't taken without an ounce of perceived danger. No one is going to share the selfie you took from the observation deck at the Willis Tower. You want to impress people  enough to double click your picture then you better be sitting on the Statue of Liberty's fucking torch doing a goddamn duck face.

- There's a lot more danger on land than there is 20 feet from the beach. That doesn't mean you can't get attacked by a shark or stung by a jellyfish, but it means it's highly unlikely. Land is a crazy place. There is a lot going on. A lot of moving parts, and even more dumb people. You take your eyes off the world and the world just might turn around and bite you in the ass.  You take your eyes off other idiots they are sure to make you regret it.

- People don't go in the ocean thinking that they are partaking in a dangerous activity. They go in the ocean to ride some waves, get some salt water in their mouth, and question why they went in the ocean when they are washing sand out of their hair the next time they take a shower. People that fall off bridges or monuments taking one handed pictures of themselves are fully aware with the risks associated with doing so. They just acknowledge that the superficial self esteem boost they will receive from the additional 'likes' is worth that risk. 

Yes, it's gotten to the point where taken pictures of ourselves had become more dangerous then venturing into a place shared by hundreds of thousands of living organisms that we can't see. That may seem crazy, but I think the fact that we are more of a hazard to ourselves than some of the deadliest creatures on the planet is actually a testament how to far down the rabbit hole society has fallen in 2015. I guess the only logical step now is 'Selfie Week'. Just might be time to admit that we know more about sharks than we know about the fucking assholes we interact with on a day-to-day basis.