Shots Fired: Mikhail Prokhorov Tells Jason Kidd "Don't Let The Door Hit You Where The Good Lord Split You"
SBNation- Remember when Jason Kidd made a failed power play within the Nets organization and had to leave to become coach of the Bucks? It turns out Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov was deeply hurt by Kidd's decision to -- wait, it turns out Prok couldn't give an eighth of a crap.
I know I eviscerated Mikhail Prokhorov for his potential sale of the Nets in the future. However, I can't, in good conscience, sit her and tell you I don't love him for the time being. Especially in comparison to that bipolar schizophrenic, Jason Kidd. I don't even want to hear that guys name anymore. First he's the most beloved, most accomplished, Net of all time. Then he joins the Knicks so I have to hate him. Then he becomes the coach in Brooklyn and all is forgiven. Then he basically coerces his way out of Brooklyn to go and coach in Milwaukee. Make up your mind Jason. Stop the ride. I don't want to be on this emotional roller coaster anymore. You are officially dead to me Jason.
Anyway, Prokhorov dropping popular American proverbs right in Kidd's grill is certified platinum material. No coming back from that. When a Russian billionaire says you are inconsequential you are inconsequential. Mikhail wants to get even, and I don't think Jason wants any part of that communist wrath. Regardless of how funny it was to watch Prokhorov emasculate Kidd on national television, he's also not wrong. It's not like Jason Kidd is some prodigy of a coach. A trained monkey could have orchestrated the Nets into the second round last year. I would argue the Nets replacement, Lionel Hollins, is a far better coach. He is certainly more accomplished. You think Kidd's departure bothers Prokhorov? I don't think anything bothers Prokhorov. For example…
What's that you say? He lost 144 million in one year? No big deal. 144 million is the Russian billionaire equivalent of nickel and diming. Probably threw 144 million at a homeless person that was badgering him on his way into Barclays Center. That is perhaps the most baller answer possible to that question. Has money ever mattered less to anyone ever in the history of currency? He just pisses away money as a hobby. He has never seen a single dollar bill in his life. Probably wipes his ass with hundreds. He will give away all the millions in the world, but don't you dare suggest he gives one single fuck.
How about that? Just comparing his bachelorhood to that of the ageless beauty George Clooney. He basically said that he became the most eligible bachelor in the world once Clooney got married. That's what I heard anyway. Can't be getting married when George opened up the bay window to a brand new fleet of available women. Who would satisfy them all if single men lost both their fearless leaders in one year?
If I could wish for one thing in this world it would be for Mikhail to give more interviews. His billionaire swagger shines with the light of a thousand diamond chains. Actually, he probably thinks diamonds are poor people shit. Probably in the process of developing his own unique jewel as we speak. Anyway, I am pro-Prokhorov for as long as he is anti-Kidd.
6/30/2018 07:44:57 am
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