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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Some Bruins' Fans Were Apparently Stunned Into Sobriety by Last Night's OT Loss, As Full Beers Were Left to Meet Their Non-Drunken Demise

5/30/2019

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Full beers? Full beers?! pic.twitter.com/uulyhbDuTF

— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) May 30, 2019

Shameful. Despicable, really. The last fanbase I expected to leave overpriced suds to suffer a fate of flatness was the FUBAR'd Boston faithful, and here they are abandoning yet-to-be-sipped stragglers as if their success in sports has made them forget that there are sober assholes in Africa, or however that saying goes. Whatever happened to "win or lose, we still booze"? That used to be a motto that the entire over-served city of speech impediments could stumble behind, but now some of its most loyal inhabitants have become so spoiled that they refuse to finish beers that aren't filtered through the thrill of victory? Is that what it has come to? Samuel Adams would roll over in his goddamn grave if he witnessed such willful wastefulness and entitled alcoholism. And to think, our forefathers fought for Boston's right to drown their Irish guilt in abused substances just for said substances to be left unabused when the outcome was undesired? Ugh, makes me sicker than a Masshole who fell publicly ill in a puddle of his own Jameson-induced vomit. 

Now, I know it was just one single row, but if Bruins' fans as a collective can't be entrusted to leave only empties after overtime then maybe they deserve the sobering reality of Stanley Cup sorrow as they are apparently still too drunk off the Patriots' dynasty. One thing is for certain, the same can't be said of St. Louis...

The #stlblues scored in overtime and @Enterprise_Cntr WENT WILD!!! #WeAllBleedBlue pic.twitter.com/HMHBXAXsgX

— St. Louis Blues (@StLouisBlues) May 30, 2019
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