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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Some Obnoxiously Loud Fornicators Were The Background Noise For A Tennis Match At The Sarasota Open

4/19/2017

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NYDailyNews- A Sarasota Open match between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger was interrupted multiple times on Tuesday night due to a couple in a nearby house having very loud sex.

To their credit, Tiafor and Krueger did not seem fazed by the extra-curricular activities the neighbors were partaking in.


Krueger joking hit a tennis ball in the direction of the sex noises at one point and when the volume hit an embarrassingly high level, Tiafor, 19, yelled: “It can’t be that good!”

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Poor guys. Seriously, you have to feel bad for Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger here. I haven't the slightest idea how good they actually are at tennis, but I do know it must be mighty hard to work your way up the ranks so that you're no longer competing in venues that potentially share public beaches with porn shoots. They are professionals who should be able to perform under non-optimal conditions, but it still can't be easy to showcase the entirety of your talent while listening to some vocally gifted broad attempt to ease the insecurities of her boyfriend.

There's a reason that the most prestigious of tennis tournaments will drag you into the bowels of the stadium and break your fingers like you were running just a litttttle too hot on the blackjack table if you so much as cough from the back row during a Serena serve. That's probably because it's an unnecessarily high brow sport, but I would imagine it also has something to do with it being very hard to concentrate when the all-too-respectful silence is broken. I can't even begin to comprehend the level of difficulty when it's broken by some couple that sounds like they are fucking in the sixth row.

Hell, it may have been respectful if they were fucking in the 6th row. At least then they would get tagged with a sweet label like "exhibitionists" instead of just being the type of obnoxious assholes that take their moaning and groaning to a completely unnatural decibel level just to prove to as many people as possible how much sex they have. Speaking as someone who had a college roommate whose girlfriend thought the final game of beer pong was the best time to test the acoustics of his bedroom, it sucks to be reminded of how insignificant your match is by people that would rather shamelessly hump alongside it than watch it. 
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