Some Woman On Twitter Used Lunch Meat To Compare Her Daughter's Genitals To Taylor Swift's Genitals

The reason I preach #Christianity. My daughters represent the right. Taylor Swift's vagina represents the left. pic.twitter.com/4blQ5FrTJo

— Jennifer Mayers (@southern_mayers) June 16, 2016

Look, I'll be the last one to tell you that I understand how vaginas work. Full disclosure, I was too busy laughing at the depictions of sexual reproductive organs during middle school health class to really take in the wealth of information at my disposal. That being said, I'm pretty sure the idea that a pussy grows a lip every time it is premaritally penetrated is just another one of the those myths of Christianity. That's some completely illogical "every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings" type of shit. Am I really supposed to believe that Jesus took time away from parting seas and turning water into wine to curse every "prematurely" pleasured vagina into a lifetime of resembling a tsunami of salami? Sorry Jennifer, but just because your lady parts fell into a disarray of deli meats after having kids doesn't mean it was a product of God punishing you for the process of creating them.

I was going to talk about how it's really quite strange to choose Taylor Swift - the perpetually monogamous goody two shoes - to disparage the idea of fucking for fun, but do you know what's even weirder than that? VISUALLY DEPICTING YOUR DAUGHTER'S BABY MAKER ON THE INTERNET!!! Even Jesus himself thinks this lady is going too far in running her smear campaign against sexually uninhibited single ladies. I don't know how young this girl is, but she's going to be absolutely mortified when she realizes there's a perfectly cultivated ham sandwich out there portraying her labia. I know I wouldn't be too happy if my father was Instagramming true-to-size carrots in hopes of pushing some antiquated religious agenda, and given the person raising this poor girl I would imagine I am much more liberal about showing my body. ​