Someone Stole Charlie Villanueva's Toilet, And The Cops Don't Seem Too Keen On Finding It12/20/2017
I don't mean to play the pessimist here, but are we sure that Charlie Villanueva get robbed and not repo'd? Let's be clear, that's not me calling into question the former Huskie's ability to manage the finances he must have built up over a decade long NBA career, but rather an inability to comprehend someone confidently putting aside time during a pilfering to undue plumbing if not contractually obligated to do so. I don't want to put all thieves in a box or anything, but - unless HGTV turned dark and desperate after enduring a massive budget cut - it's tough to envision the type of person who breaks and enters into someone else's home doing so in an effort to completely refurbish another residence. Regardless, Charlie Villanueva seems pretty confident he was burglarized, so - in giving him the benefit of the doubt - I must demand that we, as a society, be better as people. I know it's damn near impossible to recalibrate the moral compass of criminals, but this? This is too far. There's something to be said about having a "pot" to piss in, and in taking a former NBA player's porcelain throne they didn't just disrespect his property and peace of mind, they disrespected his 'me time'. And during the season in which it's needed the most, no less! Assuming those that break into high end homes to steal crappers don't limit themselves to the taking of one toilet, Charlie Villanueva literally needed to walk himself out back like a goddamn dog just to take a leak while waiting for the police to come to the conclusion that he wasn't actually joking. So as hilarious as it must have been to see his face as he stared confusingly at the hole in his bathroom floor, it's equally as chilling that someone went to such lengths to belittle him as a man. During even the most unlawful of acts, the sanctity of another man's shitter should never be sabotaged. If for no reason then because even the most thorough of home owner's insurance policies can't reimburse that amount of indignity endured by having to hold it in your own damn house.
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