Sometimes You Just Need To Drench A Theif In Dog Poop Before He Realizes How Dumb He Is For Stealing Packages

Source- Cory Hovanec is sick of people stealing packages off his front porch. He says it's happened time and again to him and his neighbors.

"I'm frustrated," Hovanec explained.

He put up a camera to catch the thieves, but they kept coming. Finally, he reached his wit's end when a Valentine's Day present from his mother to his son was allegedly stolen. That's when Hovanec, who builds heaters for a living, came up with a plan.

"I rigged it so inside the package was soupy, messy dog poo," Hovanec said.

He says he rigged it so whoever opens the package will inevitably tear the bag, and get the poo everywhere.

​Hovanec says it isn't about retribution; he just wants the thieves to stop."There is something you can do. It's poo," he said.



See, this is a concept I never truly understood. Now, I am not a kleptomaniac so I don't know if this dude just gets off on taking anything that's not his, but what are the chances that you scoop something useful off a stranger's doorstep? If I was going to go through with stealing someone's mail you can bet your ass I am doing my research first. What are their hobbies and interests? What are their likes and dislikes? Hell, at the very least I am finding out their clothing sizes. The odds of taking something worthwhile are simply next to nothing. I am almost always disappointed when I open something that I - myself - paid for and had delivered. I can't imagine how underwhelming it would be for someone that probably doesn't need -or want for that matter - the same shit that I do. Even if he does, the chances that it will fit him are just as improbable. Pilfering parcels has got to have a lower rate of success then your grandmother's gifts on Christmas. We all have the relative that will get you anything just to say they got you something. I guess this thief thinks the same way. Have to believe that he's taking anything just to say he took something, because 99.9% of the time you aren't going to get booby tracked with dog shit, but 99.8% of the time you'll end up with something just as crappy.