Cue the graduation instrumental! If Steve Sarkisian's red-zone play calling that damn near guaranteed his team wouldn't land a punch on the reigning Super Bowl champs as they spent an entire half leaning against the ropes proved anything, it's that he's still the most successful graduate to ever stumble proudly from the hallowed halls of the Alabama School Of Image Rehabilitation! I don't know that I would consider what he's gone on to do since to be "better". After all, he's proven to be the world's worst wingman when it comes to aiding a dominant 6'3 , 220 pound receiver with freakish athleticism in actually scoring. However, considering he still had the booze that got him bottled and canned from one of the most high-profile coaching gigs in college football on his breath during the application process, being handed his diploma and stepping onto an NFL sideline after completing one season standing alongside Nick Saban definitely helped him move onto bigger things. Now, that shouldn't stop us from shaming Steve Sarkisian for playing the mean old step-dad to Kyle Shanahan's offense in never letting it run free in the fun area of the field, but it's tough to be too critical of his continued failures when all they've gotten him is promotions in the past. The nicest thing you could say about the Falcons' red-zone play calling is that, much like a failed plunge at a clogged toilet, Matt Ryan's inaccuracy made it look grosser than it actually was...
Unfortunately, that's more likely to happen when a quarterback is given a discourteous dose of shit to deal with. Simply put, a handful of inexplicably uncatchable heaves when the game was on the line certainly doesn't explain away the absence of the guy who might break the single season receiving record before he scores another touchdown (and his preposterous long arms) when a commanding lead was up for grabs. Last night's game had no business ending in an eerily familiar fatality for the Falcons. I'm glad it did, because it made for a mildly entertaining wakeup call from an otherwise unwatchable snooze-fest, but Atlanta could have released all the boo birds by the end of the first quarter if they weren't treating the football like a shock collar and the goal line like an electric fence. As much as that was on Matt Ryan for being well below average, it was also on the man that made all of zero worthwhile adjustments during the 7.5 months he had to concoct a game plan capable of beating the same defense that ended his season in damn near the same spot.
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