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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Steve Smith Sr. Just Scared Off Every Boy Within 100 Miles Of His Teenage Daughter

1/8/2016

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Yo, if Steve Smith Sr. wasn't the only man in his daughter's life than he is now #PurityRing pic.twitter.com/SYhDqmvWVT

— Unsportsmanlike (@Misconduct_22) January 8, 2016
First of all, I am upset that Michael Smith beat me to the punch. Even before he mentioned the scene from 'Bad Boys II' it was already replaying in my mind. In case you are a cultural-less bum...
Anyway, didn't it kind of sound like Steve Smith Sr. was trying to convince himself - more so than anyone else - that his daughter is still his little princess? Poor guy. One of the toughest pound-for-pound players in NFL history and he sounds about as confident as Michael Sera in any role he's ever played that his teenage daughter is some sort of angel. Really, how could she not be? Can you imagine the scene when she unwrapped her fucking PURITY RING from her father. Probably had the same look in his eyes that he gives an opposing cornerback when she looked up after putting it on. Somewhere in the world there's a kid that turned on ESPN this morning and instantly deleted Steve Smith's daughter's number from his phone. You can consider that text game aborted. I am sure that won't make for any awkward run-in's in the hall. It was fun while it lasted I bet. That kid will always have the memory of casually flirting with a future Hall Of Fame wide receiver's daughter before getting scared away by an appearance on 'His & Hers'. I can't even decide which will happen first, Steve Smith's daughter loses her virginity or her dad goes to jail for murdering her first boyfriend. Whoever loves that girl enough to put up with her father better be ready to ice up son.

Was that the extent of Steve Smith Sr.'s gems from this morning? Ha! Stupid question...

Been up for 5 minutes and Steve Smith Sr. is already throwing out handys to get into the Hall Of Fame. pic.twitter.com/vKOn7YpwJH

— Unsportsmanlike (@Misconduct_22) January 8, 2016
You know, I have always wondered that too. Is an induction into the Hall Of Fame more about your accomplishments in football, or how many HJ's you throw out to current members? Hell of a question. Maybe if Terrell Davis gave out a few more handy's over the course of his career he wouldn't be on the outside looking in. The world may never know. Rubbing off the right people; Even DJ Khaled thinks that's a major key to a happy ending.
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