Superman Has Gone Heel: Dwight Howard Owns 50 Guns, 20 Snakes, And An Unknown Amount Of Children

BlackSportsOnline- Howard mentions that he’s still working through relationships with his family members. He admits that he hasn’t been the most wholesome father, having four children—two sons and two daughters, ages seven, four, four and one—with several different women. But he says he’s very involved in each of their lives, while maintaining their privacy.

“I know how harsh the Internet and social media can get, and I don’t want to put my kids through that,” he says. “I don’t want them to have to go to school, and kids are like, ‘Your dad did this. He sucks.’ I don’t want them to have to feel that same kind of hate that I have received. But I spend as much time as I can with them, and I truly love and care for them.”

It appears he is saying he wasn’t claiming his kids because he didn’t want them to be made fun of at school, but the oldest is 7, so that wouldn’t really come into play. Also he is off with the number, he has as many as 8 kids.

Then there are Howard’s more exuberant activities, like riding around his neighborhood with his friends in his Can-Am Spyder three-wheeled bikes. He also likes going to the gun range—”It’s what you do in Texas,” he says—and he has about 10 different kinds in his collection encompassing more than 50 total, including shotguns, semiautomatics and handguns, such as one of his favorites, a gold-looking Desert Eagle pistol. He also collects, just for show, miniguns and bazookas.

But there’s no better way to describe Howard’s eccentricity and connection to Texas than through his pet snakes at home. All 20 of them. I tell him at dinner, not expecting a serious response, “I’ve got to see them before I leave Houston.”

Hey, they say you should be careful what you wish for. There were many people that thought Dwight Howard and his constantly beaming smile were disingenuous when he was causing trouble behind closed doors. They thought the happy-go-lucky attitude was a facade when he repeatedly contradicted himself on whether he wanted to stay in Orlando or not. They wished he would just be himself. Well, you wanted the real Dwight and you got the real Dwight. Turns out the real Dwight would make quite the used car salesman, because that deceitful alligator smile is only loyal to one person, and that person has about 30 illegitimate children. 50 guns? 20 snakes? No wonder Howard lied to this publication about how many kids he has. He's hoping the 70 deadly weapons in his household will somehow prove his dishonesty accurate and none will be the wiser. I don't even know if I can hate Howard for anything other than being an irresponsible father. After the incidents in Orlando, followed by the less than ceremonious stay in Los Angeles, everyone hated him. He had no choice but to live the bad boy life. Easier to embrace the hate than to try to convince everyone to love you again. Is there a surer sign that someone has given up on being liked than an Indiana Jones-esque pit of pet snakes? 

If you think about it Dwight Howard is just the black, modern day Hollywood Hulk Hogan. From the most beloved to the most despised in a matter of years. Actually, if Dwight weren't so God damn fragile he would have a bright future in the WWE. Talk about taylor made for the profession. A body that borders on the inhuman? An affinity for snakes and guns? An absurd mode of transportation? A guy who is no stranger to being the target of boos from all demographics? Cue the intro music. I can almost see him driving down the ring in a 3-wheeled Can-Am Spyder, bazooka on his shoulder, boa constrictor around his neck, while 'Hate Me Now' blares in the background. He doesn't even need to know how to embellish, he already looks like he is hurt anytime someone touches him anyway. Someone get Superman on steroids so we can get him to the ring where he belongs. I think we have all grown tired of watching the 7-footer waste his talents as a role player in the NBA.