Surprise, Surprise: People That Curse Frequently Have A Better Command Of the English Language

Metro- The study, published in the Language Sciences journal, found that foul-mouthed people are actually more confident than people who don’t swear.

Participants were asked to say as many swear words as they could think of in 60 seconds. They were then asked to name as many animals as possible in the same amount of time.

And, guess what, those who swore the most, knew the most animals as well.

This was enough for psychologists Kristin and Timothy Jay to link swearing with a person’s vocabulary.

They said: ‘Unfortunately, when it comes to taboo language, it is a common assumption that people who swear frequently are lazy, do not have an adequate vocabulary, lack education, or simply cannot control themselves

‘The overall finding of this set of studies, that taboo fluency is positively correlated with other measures of verbal fluency, undermines the [normal] view of swearing.’

‘Speakers who use taboo words understand their general expressive content as well as nuanced distinctions that must be drawn to use slurs appropriately.
​
‘The ability to make nuanced distinctions indicates the presence of more rather than less linguistic knowledge.’



First sarcasm was a surefire sign of intelligence, and now constantly cursing all but guarantees you have an extensive vocabulary? Well, you don't fucking say. I don't want to overstate this or anything, but according to the formulaic contributions of science, I am the most articulate of intellectuals. I may fail each and every test you could possibly give me to prove otherwise, but I challenge you to show me a study to support those test results. This isn't even remotely surprising to me. Of course well spoken people use profane language. Do you know how goddamn frustrating it is to communicate with the majority of half-witted assholes that don't understand the bulk of the English language? You'd swear too if you had to constantly explain your word choice to a bunch of socially appropriate idiots. Courteous people and their inability to grasp the the full lexicon of discourse know not of the troubles of being a prisoner to one's own unlimited mental glossary. 

So don't go giving me the side eye for accidentally saying "motherfucker" a little bit too loud at brunch. Maybe you should reflect on your failures, as a productive member of the English speaking community, that have caused me to do so. Maybe if YOU read a book (preferably the dictionary), then you wouldn't be so quick to judge others for occasionally being too obscene for your liking. After all, were just trying to understand how others can't understand us. We are all speaking the same language, and if you can't keep up, then I have no choice but to speak down to you in the most disparaging of fashions. With the way the world is trending it is far easier to be a dumb person in 2015. With the responsibility of keeping the average IQ in this country in the triple digits comes the annoyance of dealing with people that are desperately trying to keep us from doing so. If you don't like the way my fellow intellectuals and I liberally converse in public then cry about it cocksucker, because I don't like the way you dickheads are dumbing down the population. If you want to make assumptions about me based on the profanity of my prose then fuck you and your 3rd grade education*.

*Throughout this entire blog I couldn't stop thinking about the time my mother jumped on her high horse at one of my hockey games and yelled at an opposing parent "did you go to college to learn how to talk like that?". Based on her reaction, it's safe to say that higher learning was never in her cards.